Periodically, I host an AMA for subscribers where they can ask me anything. Next week, I will go through the questions and answer many of them on camera.
I really like having the state-by-state breakdown for the laws, but it would be really helpful to know which states are dangerous to live in vs which states might be risky for trans people (kids or adults) or parents of trans kids to visit.
Hi! I have a trans son (almost 14), and live in Florida. Getting out of the state isn't an option for another 7 years, although I desperately want to. I'm trying to find a group or place online for parents in my situation, but the key is to find people who are both radically trans affirming AND realistic about the scary fucking shit happening right now. I've found a few very libby groups with people who either are still struggling to accept their trans kid (which I just can't tolerate), or who don't understand just how dangerous a situation we're in, or both. I'm sick of people trying to play nice in the face of genocide. Most of the activists and allies I know are adults without kids, and I would love to find people who both understand the fear of being a parent to a trans child and are willing to throw down in the face of it. Help!
Oh gosh. You are extraordinarily kind, but money isn't the reason we can't leave - it's because my ex and I share 50/50 custody of our kids, and I can't relocate until our youngest hits 18 (in 7 years).
What would it take to get out sooner? There are many older trans individuals willing to help families with kids. We know what it was like growing up in a toxic environment not our homes and having to remain closeted for decades. I've donated to multiple families fleeing to a safer state.
And I don’t suppose a judge would in FL would review circumstances and change agreement? And I assume your ex does not support your move with visitation. 😬
Oh man. I *just* managed to stop crying and this is making me cry again. Absolutely. Not sure how to connect - I don't think you can message over Substack. Maybe the best way is emailing - vblq45c78 [AT] gmail.
I really appreciate all you are doing to keep track of these bills and report on them. Its very informative and allows me to keep some of my friends etc... informed, and to formulate plans for anyone I know in the affected areas.
So back when HB2 from NC was being debated, we had the democrats fighting on our side. We had corps fighting on our side. Even the whole Lia Thomas thing last year we had lots of democrats and allies speaking up and being advocates, but the cracks were beginning to show back then. The Rhetoric was beginning to work.
Now this year, I see no cis allies speaking on the issues, no one really on the left. The only people I see fighting back and speaking on these issues for the most part are trans folks. Where did the democrats and the allies go? It feels like we have been abandoned. For a large part even the LGB parts of the LGBTQIA+ community seem to be silent (with some notable exceptions). Like have the right wing christofascists finally won?
You are much closer to this than I am. Do you see hope? The only hope I see is that GenZ is far far mor accepting and increasingly a part of the community.
Hi Erin! What's up with Iowa? I haven't seen you specifically mention any bills moving through my state, and well I'm super nervous. Also, how do I network with other people in my area so I can stay on top of important bills and show up for for hearings?
we are in GA and keeping track of legislation here, we really don't want to move yet, I want my kid to finish high school...
are there legal ways to go around the healthcare bans? can we see doctors out of state (in person, tele visit, etc.) and use pharmacies such as Amazon?
Hi Erin. I’d like to know what you do for self care and how you keep from spiraling into debilitating depression from reporting on these horrors every day. Asking for a friend 😉
As @Slideshow bob says, it feels a little quiet out there. I don't remember, but was it kind of like this with gay rights too? Were straight supporters afraid to speak up until acceptance reached some critical mass, and then things broke pretty quickly?
Definitely it's been quiet, especially from employers who are supportive of their trans employees and family members. But this year they remain silent with all the negativity and hateful bills. It this a result of Florida/Disney, why don't they speak up. I'm working on my company with our pride members.
Disney has been a weird case. They're an 800 pound gorilla (they have their own protected airspace, for pete's sake), and they've never hesitated to throw their weight around in the past. Even though DeSantis made a big stink over Disney losing some of its extremely favorable tax and other benefits earlier this year, I wouldn't bet against Disney by any means. They just had a change in CEOs, however, and the new one isn't as queer-supportive as the old one.
I do have a bunch of friends who work there because it's the only place they feel safe being out in central Florida, and they felt betrayed when Disney first failed to speak up. However, Disney is also in the middle of trying to crush worker requests for a tiny raise, so employees may feel less able to raise their concerns than they otherwise would.
Hi Erin. Thanks for all you do! How can I keep track of the goings on in my state of pennsylvania? Still dealing with Mastriani and his ilk. I know he’s put something forward but, since it hasn’t gotten too far it doesn’t show in the government website. If it does - it’s very hard to find. Nonetheless - I want to keep and eye on these creeps to stay ahead and spread the word
Erin, recently Missouri held several hearings on anti trans bills and I’m curious as to where they stand. In particular, do they have any pending drag bans pending? Asking because I have family in Missouri putting together a family reunion for May and I’m not sure it would be legally safe for me to be there. Yes, I have a few anti trans relatives. Thanks for all you do!
Have you ever considered doing a piece on citizenship by descent for trans folks? Ireland, Poland, Latvia, Lithuania, and Italy all allow citizenship by descent up from a great grandparents. Having a passport like that wouldn’t be so much about those specific countries as to, giving trans peoples a passport to live, travel and work freely anywhere in the EU as a citizen of those respective countries. I have personal experience with this as anecdote.
Is a business selling pride flag painted bricks titled "Remember Stonewall", a good idea? I thought I'd market them towards protest attendees but I'm not sure how that would go... or if at this point I'd even charge for them. Especially in Tennessee, Texas and 2 for one deal in Florida...
Hi Erin! Thank you for the work you do. ❤️ I have a question about taking actions on fighting legislation. In states where I am not a resident I call and write saying "I am a concerned citizen" instead of "I'm a constituent" in the states I don't live in. I was wondering if you have any knowledge of whether or not those letters and calls are counted, or are they immediately discounted because the letter is coming from outside the constituency? I've done some research and only found info on writing to your own officials, and want to make sure I'm focusing my efforts where they count. Also if anyone on the thread has info please feel free to share. Many thanks
As a follow up to last video, I’d like to know if you’re aware of resources that would help trans people migrate to other countries. I’m thinking sites that sift through their requirements per country. That is probably the harder part.
I really like having the state-by-state breakdown for the laws, but it would be really helpful to know which states are dangerous to live in vs which states might be risky for trans people (kids or adults) or parents of trans kids to visit.
Hi! I have a trans son (almost 14), and live in Florida. Getting out of the state isn't an option for another 7 years, although I desperately want to. I'm trying to find a group or place online for parents in my situation, but the key is to find people who are both radically trans affirming AND realistic about the scary fucking shit happening right now. I've found a few very libby groups with people who either are still struggling to accept their trans kid (which I just can't tolerate), or who don't understand just how dangerous a situation we're in, or both. I'm sick of people trying to play nice in the face of genocide. Most of the activists and allies I know are adults without kids, and I would love to find people who both understand the fear of being a parent to a trans child and are willing to throw down in the face of it. Help!
I would also donate money to help you get out. A fundraiser could be a good idea too.
Oh gosh. You are extraordinarily kind, but money isn't the reason we can't leave - it's because my ex and I share 50/50 custody of our kids, and I can't relocate until our youngest hits 18 (in 7 years).
Perhaps your ex will understand why it is important that you do what's best for your child. Worth a discussion.
Unfortunately, no - he refuses to use our son's name or pronouns, and generally refuses to acknowledge or affirm his gender.
I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope your son is managing OK! A difficult situation.
What would it take to get out sooner? There are many older trans individuals willing to help families with kids. We know what it was like growing up in a toxic environment not our homes and having to remain closeted for decades. I've donated to multiple families fleeing to a safer state.
My ex and I share 50/50 custody of our kids, and I can't relocate until our youngest hits 18 (in 7 years). I deeply appreciate your generosity.
And I don’t suppose a judge would in FL would review circumstances and change agreement? And I assume your ex does not support your move with visitation. 😬
No, my ex doesn't support us moving. Given where I live in FL... not a chance that we'd be able to change the agreement.
Oh man. I *just* managed to stop crying and this is making me cry again. Absolutely. Not sure how to connect - I don't think you can message over Substack. Maybe the best way is emailing - vblq45c78 [AT] gmail.
Erin, How do you find joy in your activism, and how do you maintain hope?
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your persistence and resistance!
I really appreciate all you are doing to keep track of these bills and report on them. Its very informative and allows me to keep some of my friends etc... informed, and to formulate plans for anyone I know in the affected areas.
So back when HB2 from NC was being debated, we had the democrats fighting on our side. We had corps fighting on our side. Even the whole Lia Thomas thing last year we had lots of democrats and allies speaking up and being advocates, but the cracks were beginning to show back then. The Rhetoric was beginning to work.
Now this year, I see no cis allies speaking on the issues, no one really on the left. The only people I see fighting back and speaking on these issues for the most part are trans folks. Where did the democrats and the allies go? It feels like we have been abandoned. For a large part even the LGB parts of the LGBTQIA+ community seem to be silent (with some notable exceptions). Like have the right wing christofascists finally won?
You are much closer to this than I am. Do you see hope? The only hope I see is that GenZ is far far mor accepting and increasingly a part of the community.
Hi Erin! What's up with Iowa? I haven't seen you specifically mention any bills moving through my state, and well I'm super nervous. Also, how do I network with other people in my area so I can stay on top of important bills and show up for for hearings?
I'm not Erin but search fb for trans groups where you are. I'll go see what I can find in IA and get back to you.
Hi, Erin, thanks for all you do!!!
we are in GA and keeping track of legislation here, we really don't want to move yet, I want my kid to finish high school...
are there legal ways to go around the healthcare bans? can we see doctors out of state (in person, tele visit, etc.) and use pharmacies such as Amazon?
Please share whatever tips you can, thanks!!!
Hi Erin. I’d like to know what you do for self care and how you keep from spiraling into debilitating depression from reporting on these horrors every day. Asking for a friend 😉
As @Slideshow bob says, it feels a little quiet out there. I don't remember, but was it kind of like this with gay rights too? Were straight supporters afraid to speak up until acceptance reached some critical mass, and then things broke pretty quickly?
Definitely it's been quiet, especially from employers who are supportive of their trans employees and family members. But this year they remain silent with all the negativity and hateful bills. It this a result of Florida/Disney, why don't they speak up. I'm working on my company with our pride members.
Disney has been a weird case. They're an 800 pound gorilla (they have their own protected airspace, for pete's sake), and they've never hesitated to throw their weight around in the past. Even though DeSantis made a big stink over Disney losing some of its extremely favorable tax and other benefits earlier this year, I wouldn't bet against Disney by any means. They just had a change in CEOs, however, and the new one isn't as queer-supportive as the old one.
I do have a bunch of friends who work there because it's the only place they feel safe being out in central Florida, and they felt betrayed when Disney first failed to speak up. However, Disney is also in the middle of trying to crush worker requests for a tiny raise, so employees may feel less able to raise their concerns than they otherwise would.
*quiet
Are you able to give a legal layout on hpw TN SB003 will affect transgender individuals?
I drive a truck otr and need to know if I can be arrested if I get out of my truck in that state after July 1st.
Thanks!
If you had a trans child under 10 in KY, would you leave for a safer state?
Hi Erin. Thanks for all you do! How can I keep track of the goings on in my state of pennsylvania? Still dealing with Mastriani and his ilk. I know he’s put something forward but, since it hasn’t gotten too far it doesn’t show in the government website. If it does - it’s very hard to find. Nonetheless - I want to keep and eye on these creeps to stay ahead and spread the word
Erin, recently Missouri held several hearings on anti trans bills and I’m curious as to where they stand. In particular, do they have any pending drag bans pending? Asking because I have family in Missouri putting together a family reunion for May and I’m not sure it would be legally safe for me to be there. Yes, I have a few anti trans relatives. Thanks for all you do!
Have you ever considered doing a piece on citizenship by descent for trans folks? Ireland, Poland, Latvia, Lithuania, and Italy all allow citizenship by descent up from a great grandparents. Having a passport like that wouldn’t be so much about those specific countries as to, giving trans peoples a passport to live, travel and work freely anywhere in the EU as a citizen of those respective countries. I have personal experience with this as anecdote.
Hi Alice, this may apply to a tiny fraction of trans folks, but Austria has expanded dual citizenship opportunities to descendants of Holocaust survivors: https://www.timesofisrael.com/no-longer-verboten-descendants-of-holocaust-survivors-seek-austrian-citizenship/
Is a business selling pride flag painted bricks titled "Remember Stonewall", a good idea? I thought I'd market them towards protest attendees but I'm not sure how that would go... or if at this point I'd even charge for them. Especially in Tennessee, Texas and 2 for one deal in Florida...
Hi Erin! Thank you for the work you do. ❤️ I have a question about taking actions on fighting legislation. In states where I am not a resident I call and write saying "I am a concerned citizen" instead of "I'm a constituent" in the states I don't live in. I was wondering if you have any knowledge of whether or not those letters and calls are counted, or are they immediately discounted because the letter is coming from outside the constituency? I've done some research and only found info on writing to your own officials, and want to make sure I'm focusing my efforts where they count. Also if anyone on the thread has info please feel free to share. Many thanks
As a follow up to last video, I’d like to know if you’re aware of resources that would help trans people migrate to other countries. I’m thinking sites that sift through their requirements per country. That is probably the harder part.