Periodically, I host an AMA for subscribers where they can ask me anything. Next week, I will go through the questions and answer many of them on camera.
not a question, per se, just a comment. THANK YOU!! for all the information you share… for keeping your finger on the pulse .. and for arming moms like me with the facts we need to better advocate for our rock star kids. you are a gift :)
My child is trans M->F . She has been on blockers and now hormones thus going through puberty as a female. She is a fierce volleyball player because she practiced king and hard, and we went through all the right things to get her approved to play. This year, her senior year, she spiked a ball which hit a girl in the head. It happens. Our coach told their coach she was trans which started an onslaught of media attention, FOX news, YouTube vids, across the country and internationally. A reporter from London came by my house. ESPN connected with her and she told her story which has not been published due to the fact that both she and her father are suicidal. There were death threats.
Now we are moving towards college and she has had huge interest in her as a D-1 player offering a plethora of scholarships . She accepted and signed with Kennesaw. When she told them she was trans, they pulled everything. This was very traumatic.
My question is, do we tell beforehand- before the visit or do we not tell? Is it an imperative? Not just for my child, but for any child?
Unfortunately the ability to get a new birth certificate also depends on the state one is born in. West Virginia only permits a corrected one where the sex assigned at birth has a line through it, the court ordered new gender is listed beside it with the date it changed. This places me in danger in any state that passes laws that use sex assigned at birth to discriminate, incriminate and, eventually exterminate.
West Virginia’s practice regarding birth certificates is so unfortunate. To me, a birth certificate that’s been altered in that way holds little value over one that hasn’t been altered at all, though maybe I’m missing something
Yes - that is the intent. They do not want to facilitate gender transition in any way because they are willfully ignorant and hostile to it. As one person in the WV legislature told me at the time, “We will not allow pregnant ‘men’ running around our state”.
What are legislative experts’ thoughts these days on how bullet proof these new anti-trans laws might be when they are challenged in court? Early results seem somewhat promising, it seems to me.
Hi, this Sara Rook from East Texas. I read an article a while back that the Texas Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick, had requested from the Texas Department of Public Safety a list of all people who had changed thier gender on their driver's license. Have you heard anything more about this? It's quite concerning to me. I legally changed all my documents in the last century but it still makes me a bit uneasy. Thanks for all you do!
I sent you a message on Instagram regarding NC’s New Republican Veto proof majority after a Democrat switched sides this past week..... Whereas the day after: Republicans introduced 6 new Anti-transgender bills (now we’re up to 3 anti-transgender healthcare bills here: HB43, SB560 and SB639).
Besides being incredibly cruel, bathroom bills such as Florida’s seem fraught with problems…how do proponents imagine they’d be enforced? Couldn’t an accused person simply deny they are trans? Would accused people be subject to invasive physical exams? Wouldn’t masculine-appearing cis women be targeted? And lastly, would a cis person really risk accusing a stranger of being trans when it might provoke a physical confrontation? This whole thing just seems as unworkable as it is cruel.
I am probably going to leave my state soon due to the anti-trans legislation. What are the best things to plan/prepare to make the move as easy and stress free as possible?
Also, if you're moving like, a household (rather than just uprooting completely and getting on a plane) and you happen to know your route, check in with any queer orgs you can find on the way. A lot of them are preparing to help people who might be passing through on their way to somewhere else. I'm still trying to accumulate information in a more cohesive way rather than scattershot, but I'm hearing about queer orgs in pass-through states organizing amongst themselves to provide safe houses, meals, and other support for people who are traveling.
From someone who is trying to support her friends doing the same thing (I'm in Florida) - one of the best things I've heard is to look up mutual aid groups and queer organizations in your destination city/state and see what help they can provide. There's a dearth of funds to help people get *out* of state, unfortunately, but the communities on the other end seem to be willing and eager to help people who are landing in there. I've heard of a few places, such as Albuquerque, that are going so far as to build a whole infrastructure to provide food, housing, jobs, low-cost medical care, etc. for people fleeing unsafe states. A lot of trans people in the destination states feel pretty helpless in how best to help their trans siblings in bad states, and it seems like they are very eager to help when given the opportunity.
Are there any US states that would be safe regardless of federal legislation or executive orders? Some states seem to have the willingness and resources to fight.
I’d add one more national-level risk to your list: a federal judge ruling against gender-affirming care, similar to what we saw with the abortion pill. This could happen under either a Democratic or Republican administration
Very true. I’m just wondering about a state like California accepting something like the obliteration of trans rights without a major fight or even threatening succession. Especially given how much of the US GDP is generated out of California.
In that scenario, California might put up a halfhearted fight, but I seriously doubt they would be willing to risk secession or other serious outcome over such a small group of people. The same is likely true for other states
Some family members talk about fear of having their children in a public restroom where a trans person may be. Are there any aggregated statistics to point them to that will demonstrate who the most likely child predators are?
What online resources can a Trans Allie such as myself direct people to when they have questions regarding Transgender people. Questions on subjects such as pronouns, HRT, GRS, legal issues, medical issues, and so forth. There is a lot of misinformation out there regarding the Transgender community and I am struggling to find a single resource I help people find factual information. And like others I want to thank you for your efforts.
I would say National Center for Transgender Equality has a lot of great information.
HRC also has great information on their pages, they have a very helpful guide for schools called “Schools In Transition: A Guide for Supporting Transgender Students in K-12 Schools”.
Hi, we have in NC this senator who switched parties and made a supermajority for Republicans, and since then there have been a flurry of proposed bills. My question is I guess 2 parts, 1. What suggestions do you have for advocacy in this context and 2. Should I quit my job and move my family to New Jersey (the closest nursing compact state with a democratic supermajority)?
Both Minnesota and Maryland has actually passed laws PROTECTING transgender people and their rights to access medical care. However; getting people to VOTE in ALL elections (the presidential one is actually the LEAST important), is the most urgent thing we can all do.
Hi, Erin, thank you so much for your work. I’m wondering what are some good charities that help trans people pay for healthcare and surgeries that I can donate to. I just want donations to go to the people who need it, not scammers or excessive charity overhead costs. Thank you.
Also, if you are willing to donate to individual's Go Fund Me's--or local mutual aid groups where fundraising is happening on an ongoing basis. I don't want to post personal stuff on Erin's site without permission--but I am currently raising money for surgery--as an elementary school trans teacher in Indiana. If you'd be willing to chat/donate/share please contact me at storrs.alyssa@gmail.com. Thank you for being willing to donate.
Hi Erin, My family and I live overseas. We often feel hopeless regarding all the American anti-trans legislation. What can we do besides vote to support LGBTIQ rights? Thank you for all you do.
Correct people EVERY SINGLE time you hear they tell lies or spread inaccurate information. Also; hold people accountable when they vote. Ask them if the know what they are actually voting FOR, because if they are voting for Republicans, they are voting FOR the genocide of transgender children, youth and adults. And that’s a fact.
I am trans in Illinois and I have 2 spare rooms in my house. Can you suggest an organization to contact so I could offer those rooms to trans folk fleeing horribly dangerous conditions (like Missouri)?
Please contact Trans Resistance Network through their website. https://transresistancenetwork.wordpress.com/ They are doing a lot of work on the national level connecting people like you with people who are fleeing unsafe states. I will tell you that they are absolutely overwhelmed by need right now and their response time is slow, but they *will* get back to you.
Also, I would connect with any queer orgs you know of in your city - PFLAG, a GAT provider, a queer health clinic - and let them know that you have space to offer. I'm in Florida and I'm trying to connect people here with people like you, and one of the things I'm doing is suggesting to my friends that they reach out to local queer orgs in their destination cities to see if support is there. So there's a good chance that someone is already trying to set up a network where you are.
Last.... if you are willing to do so, feel free to reach out to me. I have friends in Missouri who are trying to organize plans for trans people to move into IL or access care up there, and they absolutely would love to connect with you. I don't think you can DM people through Substack, but you can send me an email to my protonmail acct - mantismantis321@protonmail.com.
I just started Estrodial on 1/14/23, live in southern Indiana. Currently working in a manufacturing facility, hate it, when I apply for a job, ask if I am male or female, do I apply as male? And would a college be a good source of employment?
You may consider joining the Kentuckiana Transgender Support Group on Facebook. It has over 1200 members who live throughout Kentucky and southern Indiana. University of Louisville was very supportive of a friend who transitioned while working there.
not a question, per se, just a comment. THANK YOU!! for all the information you share… for keeping your finger on the pulse .. and for arming moms like me with the facts we need to better advocate for our rock star kids. you are a gift :)
My child is trans M->F . She has been on blockers and now hormones thus going through puberty as a female. She is a fierce volleyball player because she practiced king and hard, and we went through all the right things to get her approved to play. This year, her senior year, she spiked a ball which hit a girl in the head. It happens. Our coach told their coach she was trans which started an onslaught of media attention, FOX news, YouTube vids, across the country and internationally. A reporter from London came by my house. ESPN connected with her and she told her story which has not been published due to the fact that both she and her father are suicidal. There were death threats.
Now we are moving towards college and she has had huge interest in her as a D-1 player offering a plethora of scholarships . She accepted and signed with Kennesaw. When she told them she was trans, they pulled everything. This was very traumatic.
My question is, do we tell beforehand- before the visit or do we not tell? Is it an imperative? Not just for my child, but for any child?
Honestly, her best option is a blue state on my risk map, and disclose at her own comfort level.
I wouldn't said anything. As long her Birth Certificate has been corrected and her original is under seal there's nothing to disclose.
Unfortunately the ability to get a new birth certificate also depends on the state one is born in. West Virginia only permits a corrected one where the sex assigned at birth has a line through it, the court ordered new gender is listed beside it with the date it changed. This places me in danger in any state that passes laws that use sex assigned at birth to discriminate, incriminate and, eventually exterminate.
West Virginia’s practice regarding birth certificates is so unfortunate. To me, a birth certificate that’s been altered in that way holds little value over one that hasn’t been altered at all, though maybe I’m missing something
Yes - that is the intent. They do not want to facilitate gender transition in any way because they are willfully ignorant and hostile to it. As one person in the WV legislature told me at the time, “We will not allow pregnant ‘men’ running around our state”.
Just in case some lighter questions are needed to balance out the mix: Is there any music you've been enjoying lately and would recommend?
What are legislative experts’ thoughts these days on how bullet proof these new anti-trans laws might be when they are challenged in court? Early results seem somewhat promising, it seems to me.
Hi, this Sara Rook from East Texas. I read an article a while back that the Texas Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick, had requested from the Texas Department of Public Safety a list of all people who had changed thier gender on their driver's license. Have you heard anything more about this? It's quite concerning to me. I legally changed all my documents in the last century but it still makes me a bit uneasy. Thanks for all you do!
I sent you a message on Instagram regarding NC’s New Republican Veto proof majority after a Democrat switched sides this past week..... Whereas the day after: Republicans introduced 6 new Anti-transgender bills (now we’re up to 3 anti-transgender healthcare bills here: HB43, SB560 and SB639).
We’re effed.
From NC too, we’re pretty scared here.
Besides being incredibly cruel, bathroom bills such as Florida’s seem fraught with problems…how do proponents imagine they’d be enforced? Couldn’t an accused person simply deny they are trans? Would accused people be subject to invasive physical exams? Wouldn’t masculine-appearing cis women be targeted? And lastly, would a cis person really risk accusing a stranger of being trans when it might provoke a physical confrontation? This whole thing just seems as unworkable as it is cruel.
Btw Erin - THANK YOU for all that you do!!
There's one more that's been bugging me for the past 3 months, since it now would apply to me...
What about Transfeminine people who've had bottom surgery?
I am probably going to leave my state soon due to the anti-trans legislation. What are the best things to plan/prepare to make the move as easy and stress free as possible?
Also.... best of luck. <3
Also, if you're moving like, a household (rather than just uprooting completely and getting on a plane) and you happen to know your route, check in with any queer orgs you can find on the way. A lot of them are preparing to help people who might be passing through on their way to somewhere else. I'm still trying to accumulate information in a more cohesive way rather than scattershot, but I'm hearing about queer orgs in pass-through states organizing amongst themselves to provide safe houses, meals, and other support for people who are traveling.
From someone who is trying to support her friends doing the same thing (I'm in Florida) - one of the best things I've heard is to look up mutual aid groups and queer organizations in your destination city/state and see what help they can provide. There's a dearth of funds to help people get *out* of state, unfortunately, but the communities on the other end seem to be willing and eager to help people who are landing in there. I've heard of a few places, such as Albuquerque, that are going so far as to build a whole infrastructure to provide food, housing, jobs, low-cost medical care, etc. for people fleeing unsafe states. A lot of trans people in the destination states feel pretty helpless in how best to help their trans siblings in bad states, and it seems like they are very eager to help when given the opportunity.
Are there any US states that would be safe regardless of federal legislation or executive orders? Some states seem to have the willingness and resources to fight.
I’d add one more national-level risk to your list: a federal judge ruling against gender-affirming care, similar to what we saw with the abortion pill. This could happen under either a Democratic or Republican administration
Very true. I’m just wondering about a state like California accepting something like the obliteration of trans rights without a major fight or even threatening succession. Especially given how much of the US GDP is generated out of California.
In that scenario, California might put up a halfhearted fight, but I seriously doubt they would be willing to risk secession or other serious outcome over such a small group of people. The same is likely true for other states
Some family members talk about fear of having their children in a public restroom where a trans person may be. Are there any aggregated statistics to point them to that will demonstrate who the most likely child predators are?
What online resources can a Trans Allie such as myself direct people to when they have questions regarding Transgender people. Questions on subjects such as pronouns, HRT, GRS, legal issues, medical issues, and so forth. There is a lot of misinformation out there regarding the Transgender community and I am struggling to find a single resource I help people find factual information. And like others I want to thank you for your efforts.
I would say National Center for Transgender Equality has a lot of great information.
HRC also has great information on their pages, they have a very helpful guide for schools called “Schools In Transition: A Guide for Supporting Transgender Students in K-12 Schools”.
Hi, we have in NC this senator who switched parties and made a supermajority for Republicans, and since then there have been a flurry of proposed bills. My question is I guess 2 parts, 1. What suggestions do you have for advocacy in this context and 2. Should I quit my job and move my family to New Jersey (the closest nursing compact state with a democratic supermajority)?
Thank you
Both Minnesota and Maryland has actually passed laws PROTECTING transgender people and their rights to access medical care. However; getting people to VOTE in ALL elections (the presidential one is actually the LEAST important), is the most urgent thing we can all do.
Hi, Erin, thank you so much for your work. I’m wondering what are some good charities that help trans people pay for healthcare and surgeries that I can donate to. I just want donations to go to the people who need it, not scammers or excessive charity overhead costs. Thank you.
Point of Pride - https://www.pointofpride.org/hrt-access-fund
Trans Lifeline - https://translifeline.org/microgrants/
Also, if you are willing to donate to individual's Go Fund Me's--or local mutual aid groups where fundraising is happening on an ongoing basis. I don't want to post personal stuff on Erin's site without permission--but I am currently raising money for surgery--as an elementary school trans teacher in Indiana. If you'd be willing to chat/donate/share please contact me at storrs.alyssa@gmail.com. Thank you for being willing to donate.
Hi Erin, My family and I live overseas. We often feel hopeless regarding all the American anti-trans legislation. What can we do besides vote to support LGBTIQ rights? Thank you for all you do.
Correct people EVERY SINGLE time you hear they tell lies or spread inaccurate information. Also; hold people accountable when they vote. Ask them if the know what they are actually voting FOR, because if they are voting for Republicans, they are voting FOR the genocide of transgender children, youth and adults. And that’s a fact.
I am trans in Illinois and I have 2 spare rooms in my house. Can you suggest an organization to contact so I could offer those rooms to trans folk fleeing horribly dangerous conditions (like Missouri)?
Please contact Trans Resistance Network through their website. https://transresistancenetwork.wordpress.com/ They are doing a lot of work on the national level connecting people like you with people who are fleeing unsafe states. I will tell you that they are absolutely overwhelmed by need right now and their response time is slow, but they *will* get back to you.
Also, I would connect with any queer orgs you know of in your city - PFLAG, a GAT provider, a queer health clinic - and let them know that you have space to offer. I'm in Florida and I'm trying to connect people here with people like you, and one of the things I'm doing is suggesting to my friends that they reach out to local queer orgs in their destination cities to see if support is there. So there's a good chance that someone is already trying to set up a network where you are.
Last.... if you are willing to do so, feel free to reach out to me. I have friends in Missouri who are trying to organize plans for trans people to move into IL or access care up there, and they absolutely would love to connect with you. I don't think you can DM people through Substack, but you can send me an email to my protonmail acct - mantismantis321@protonmail.com.
Thank you for offering. <3
I'm in Illinois too. I'm curious which part you're in
Naperville
North Central
I went to college there and truly love the city
North Central? Benedictine?
I just started Estrodial on 1/14/23, live in southern Indiana. Currently working in a manufacturing facility, hate it, when I apply for a job, ask if I am male or female, do I apply as male? And would a college be a good source of employment?
You may consider joining the Kentuckiana Transgender Support Group on Facebook. It has over 1200 members who live throughout Kentucky and southern Indiana. University of Louisville was very supportive of a friend who transitioned while working there.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2062551337346988/
Thanks