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Ellen Adele Harper's avatar

Yeah. They think being trans is a choice. They don't understand, trans people are born trans. When I was a kid (60s & 70s), there wasn't even a word except transvestite, or queen, and later shemale. We had major trouble even realizing our truth, much less understanding it or expressing it openly. After the advent of the birth of LGBT out of the AIDS epidemic and then the advent of the internet, it became easier to access information, find others like you. It became somewhat more socially acceptable. That's why so many are coming out now as children and being accepted as such by their parents. When I spoke of being a girl as a young child, I was discouraged. All of us who came out in adulthood know the internal agony in which that results. That's what these knotheads want to return to. We'll win out eventually, we are at the forefront of social evolution and have the impetus. But we're going to have to stick to our guns for ourselves and future generations. In the short term, it could be tough, but the truth will prevail.

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Ivy's avatar

Yep, my only "choice" was transition and be who I am or live a shorter life in misery until I couldn't take it anymore.

Bigots are hoping trans people and kids make the second "choice" and are actively trying to speed it up for many through laws that just create more despair.

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Jayna Sheats's avatar

Ellen, try advancing those decades by one - it doesn't get better 😏. This history is something so many people today don't know at all, and that is partly why I wrote my novel ("Hanna's Ascent" - published by Bedazzled Ink in June 2023). It's a bit of promotion to mention it, but I very much wrote it so that this experience would not be lost. I hope that you and others can find a bit of yourselves in it (and more hope).

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Lisa Welch's avatar

I am just a mom of a transgender teen, not a member of the LGBTQ community so I would never have the audacity tell those directly affected by this law what to do. But I will tell you from my view as someone who went from advocate to protestor to parent begging legislators to plaintiff suing a state, non-violent resistance is a little less far on the horizon. We're not quite there yet but should it come to it, I will aid and abet. I will not follow an unjust law.

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allie's avatar

If you support us and advocate for your child then you may consider yourself part of our community if you'll have us. Thank you for being their for your teen many of us should have had a parent like you but didn't.

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Lisa Welch's avatar

Thank you 🥰 that is very kind of you to say. I don’t award myself the title of “ally” but I accept it when given by someone I advocate for. You all deserved unconditional love, that shouldn’t be an extraordinary thing for a parent to do, and my heart hurts for those who didn’t have that. What I can do now though is crawl through hell for my kid if I have to, and if necessary, put my body and freedom on the line for queer liberation, especially Black queer liberation. If we achieve it for them we achieve it for all. ❤️

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Jayna Sheats's avatar

Lisa, from what you've said I'm sure you're quite well acquainted with the relevant "landscape", but just in case these resources escaped your attention, I'll mention them; they're both superb. One is Kate Brookes ("Transister Mom"), who has written eloquently in both blogs and her book (of that name). The other is Dr. Robin L. Owens' podcast series ; Episode 162 is about allyship. (https://sites.libsyn.com/320813/site/allyship-in-action-with-julie-kratz-ep-162).

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Lisa Welch's avatar

Actually, I am not familiar with either but will definitely check both out, thank you so much!

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Lisa Welch's avatar

Aaaaand I’ve just been informed that I’m supposed to capitalize Queer. I’m sorry about that. The learning continues.

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Larry Erickson's avatar

Ditto on the aid and abet. In the struggle for LGBTQ+ rights, as in other struggles for justice, those affected should rightly be in the lead. But there's no reason the rest of us can't stand shoulder-to-shoulder with them.

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Lisa Welch's avatar

💯 🫶🏻💪🏻

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Sandra's avatar

Wow, this is really a race to the bottom, isn’t it, as far as several of the reddest states vying to see how bad they can make their anti-trans legislation. I assume this will be challenged in court? This type of legislation highlights the importance of safe-refuge laws that, as Erin noted, now encompass roughly 15 states.

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Ivy's avatar

They will eventually be challenged in court, but Republicans are throwing so many anti-lgbt and abortion laws out in the hopes that one is worded in a way SCOTUS upholds and sets the stage for national bans.

So far SCOTUS hasn't gone their way with anti-trans legislation. But only buy a slim majority.

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Sandra's avatar

I worry about the possibility national bans too - however, about a dozen states have firmly codified support for trans rights into their laws, and my hope is that they would somehow be able to resist the federal onslaught and provide safety for their LGBTQ citizens - whether the federal ban is coming from Congress, the executive branch, or court rulings.

The GOP is usually about states rights anyway - except apparently when it comes to trans individuals.

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Karen Gold's avatar

And this is coming from states that are always screaming about “state’s rights.” It is unconstitutional overreach to pass laws against other states.

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Joan the Dork's avatar

Nowhere will truly be safe until the Republican party is dead in the ground.

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rc4797's avatar

Deranged.

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KingRayVet's avatar

My God, this is incredibly hateful. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact they're trying to erase us at a very fast pace. I suppose HIPAA means nothing to those people, huh? This isn't just about laws in individual States. This is causing a crap load of people to openly hate us, because I've been hearing/seeing it out there, folks. I feel like a passing-white Black man who hears racists openly talking about their hatred towards Black people. Now I know how people really are when they don't know you're trans.

I knew they were gunning for this 2 years ago ... when Roe vs. Wade was overturned. Use the anti-abortion laws to attack trans people is something I saw right through. Control women's bodies and control ours, too. Now, as the snowball effect keeps getting bigger & bigger, there seems to be nothing to stop this.

We may see Nazi Germany for the first time in our lives, and because we're the smallest of the LGBTQ+ there isn't anything they won't do to attack the most vulnerable in this country. I'm speechless now, because there is no end in sight. Mainstream media won't talk with any of us, and they're letting those crazy people control our narrative. YIKES ... UGH!!!

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Parakeetist's avatar

Hello. Hope you got to see this. Germany made it easier for people to change their gender on public records. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-68801392

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Sandra's avatar

What would be more interesting and helpful would be if Germany would liberalize and clarify its asylum policies in case things get intolerable in the US for trans individuals.

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Jayna Sheats's avatar

Sandra, as long as you can demonstrate basic economic independence, you can go to Germany indefinitely, and politically it is among the safest places for transgender people today. These rights are recognized by everyone except the (essentially) neo-Nazi AfD, which is remaining at a very low level of support nationally (and not really gaining ground even in its Saxony stronghold - it's *far* less of a danger than the Republican party in the U.S.).

My position is pretty clear in my mind: if Biden wins the presidency in November I will stay in the safe state of California. But if Trump wins, no state will be safe, and I have already done my research on Stuttgart rental prices. (It's my choice for several reasons; knowing the language being an important one. I did a lot of on-site research on it for my novel also.) I would hate to leave my children (and one grandchild) behind, but I firmly believe that if he gets in, we may not be able to get out, just as happened to the Jews in Germany after 1933.

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Sandra's avatar

Jayna - thanks for your reply. I would really be interested in what you have found out wrt Germany, My impression has always been that Americans can’t “just move to” Germany or any other EU nation; that immigration is a difficult, elaborate and lengthy process that requires meeting many criteria; and that showing up there and claiming asylum will get you thrown into an internment camp - until you’re sent back home. Am I wrong in this? Can we connect offline to discuss? I agree with you that if the GOP wins in November, then no state may be safe. I just don’t think gaining admittance to an EU foreign country is going to be easy without family connections.

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Jayna Sheats's avatar

Certainly. The best way might be to register on my website (jaynasheats.com) for email list; I'll reply right away. You're right that asylum is a mess there right now, but German bureaucracy sometimes has surprises hidden beneath the lines, as it were. I got a work permit in 1972 even with a student visa :) (because they needed workers - it was the height of the "Gastarbeiter" phase). I'm pretty sure that ability to show self-sufficiency is the critical criterion. Anyway, let's connect!

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Talia Perkins's avatar

First amendment says that gets nullified right out of the gate. Pure posturing on their part -- 'though no doubt if they ever get to enforce it they will.

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Rachel Baldes's avatar

I've been considering becoming a foster parent for adolescent age kids here in Kentucky because I know we badly need more people willing to open their homes and hearts to these kids. I also know that trans kids are more likely than others to be in need of decent (non-evangelical, non-judgemental, supportive and nurturing) adults. Laws like this are making the broken system even worse. My husband wants me to make sure we are aware of all the potential risks involved if we were to take a child and then get them the healthcare they need (be it for trans kids or any other kid I'm going to get them what they need to be their best selves) the fact that we might run the risk of losing our own child by trying to help another child is terrifying and heartbreaking.

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allie's avatar

I admire your bravery and commitment to children's needs no matter what they may be. I am a trans person and a parent of two children. They are both straight and married but born with their own difficulties with early onset severe ADHD. Every kids needs are different except that they all need unconditional love and support. It's not something that I had and I've got the scars to prove it.

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Larry Erickson's avatar

As I expect is well-known (and as Erin notes), the accusation of "recruitment" is an old anti-homosexual smear with laws dating back to the 1800s. When I was growing up in the '50s, I heard the claim that gay men were always seeking to "recruit" innocent boys into their "perverted lifestyle" because they couldn't reproduce so it was the only way to keep the "lifestyle" going. Consider how transparently idiotic that sounds now as proof of some degree of progress.

I raise this because I want people to bear in mind that what is going on now is not a new phenomenon but a reprise of a standard playbook with a specific goal, one openly declared in a quote I swear I am going to cite over and over until referencing it becomes second nature to as many of us as possible::

"'Back to 1900' is a serviceable summation of the conservative goal." - George Will, in his syndicated column, January 9, 1995

Every time a right-winger says or proposes anything, you should envision the US in 1900, envision the state of rights, social status, and economic well-being of every marginalized person, of every black, every woman, every worker, every LGBTQ+ person, every immigrant, every everyone not among the favored elites, and remind yourself "That is what they want."

They told us. We should listen.

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Bennie J's avatar

What do you think this would practically mean for safety of a family with a trans kid in the state of Tennessee? Yes the state overall has been very bad for it for a few years now, but I’m wondering what this specific bill does to the risk factor; maybe another way of putting it is, is this likely to only be used to target healthcare professionals, or could this be weaponized against affirming parents directly?

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Bennie J's avatar

Or even, what about an affirming parent who lives in Tennessee and is supporting their trans kid who lives in another state? Does it require the kid to be in the state or just the person “recruiting/assisting” them in the eyes of this bill?

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KingRayVet's avatar

It was weaponized like that somewhere in Texas. Last year I believe.

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Karen Gold's avatar

Texas tried to sue Seattle Children’s Hospital for records of any Texas patients. In turn, Seattle Children’s sued Texas AG Ken Paxton saying he has no jurisdiction in Washington state. I hope the courts decide in favor of Seattle Children’s!

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KingRayVet's avatar

I think she was talking about Parents, not a hospital or the AG. In Texas, they made it a felony for parents to help their children transition.

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Karen Gold's avatar

If Texas is allowed to get information from an out of state hospital they could use it against the parents.

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KingRayVet's avatar

Right. That's exactly right.

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Ellen Adele Harper's avatar

I'm not sure they have enough EQ (emotional quotient) to empathize with us to that extent. I think most of them truly believe it's just a lifestyle choice and we are only pretending to be another gender.

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Angela Brightfeather's avatar

All the comments I have read point to the same boiling cause of concern, and the concern at the home front is becoming a panic mode expression every time these marble brains on the right (especially in Tennessee) find a new way to express their hatred of gender diversity.

Until I see some actual people arrested and charged for helping transgender minors, or actually facing charges in court, I’m keeping my powder dry and conserving my ammo.

I can’t imagine your average cop stopping a car with a trans child and their parents driving the child to an appointment with his or her Endo to get a prescription for their puberty blockers, and arresting them for violating any of these hate laws. Even Adam-12 might have a hard time writing up that kind of violation. So I hope that people calm down a lot and start challenging these laws on their actual face value, with a lawyer.

Personally, I have not yet heard of anyone facing jail time for any of these laws. They are being passed to make us feel fearful, but they lack the muscle to back them up.

It’s time for everyone to gather some good lawyers who can defend people against these hate laws and willfully violate them in large enough numbers to draw some national attention to them, and show everyone what they are…..hateful threats with little substance.

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Jamie Holleran's avatar

Saying this loud and clear. I will host one family at a time if needed in CA. If a TN parent wants to bring their trans kid to get life saving care here in CA, I will help harbor you, transport you and provide any material assistance within my means until you can get situated.

TN can come arrest me. I don't care anymore.

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Irene Anderson's avatar

wow...this is egregious...as a therapist training other therapist's to support gender affirming care and a host parent of a 23 year old trans man I am just sickened by this

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Lykke's avatar

For families who are considering relocation due to these laws, two parents who were forced to move wrote this incredibly helpful relocation guide for LGBTQ+ families, highly recommend.

Linked here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1703739764/

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