During a meeting of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, a Republican representative, Rep. Keith Self, called transgender congresswoman the "gentleman from Delaware." Dems pushed back.
It’s beyond unacceptable that Representative McBride had to deal with this blatant disrespect in a congressional hearing. Chairman Self’s intentional misgendering is an obviously deliberate attempt to undermine her. McBride’s response, flipping it back on him with “Madam Chair,” was a masterclass in grace under pressure - more than I would have in that situation. No one should have to constantly fight for basic respect, especially not in a setting that’s supposed to be about serious governance. It’s good to see Dems finally calling this out.
When Rep. McBride was getting grief for refusing to stand up, I hoped it was simply because she didn't know she'd have backup from Dems. I'm *guessing* that Rep. Keating had told Rep. McBride that he'd have her back, which gave her room to push back on Rep. Self, who was then so rattled he just shut down the meeting.
And while normally I'm not a huge fan of using misgendering as a counter-attack, I'm so happy that Reps. McBride and Keating did this, so I don't really care this time!
Here’s the letter I sent to Keith Self. It’s pretty long so idk if he’ll read it but I was glad to put it out there anyhow:
Dear Mr. Self,
Although I am not from your state or district, I nonetheless wanted to reach out regarding your behavior at the recent meeting of the House Foreign Affairs Committee. From what I understand, you called the transgender congresswoman Sarah McBride the “gentleman from Delaware.” Then, immediately after the hearing, you took to Twitter to justify your actions, writing, “It is the policy of the United States to recognize two sexes, female and male.”
Your statement echoes language from a Trump executive order — one with no binding authority over the house and no legal standing of its own. Nothing in the order compels you to misgender your colleague, nor does it excuse your refusal to extend her even the most basic courtesy or respect.
Transgender people like Sarah McBride are simply trying to live their lives and be themselves, like the rest of us. It doesn’t make a statement to call her “Mr. McBride” or “gentleman” aside from making the statement that you disrespect the basic integrity of your colleagues.
I am sorry that you seem to feel so threatened by people whose experience of their gender is different from yours. There is so much joy and goodness to be found when we are kind and open-minded towards others. When you deliberately act in ways that invalidate and humiliate the most vulnerable among us such as transgender people, you lose some of your own humanity in the process. So I feel sorry for you. You are missing out on creating authentic connections with your transgender colleagues and their allies and on all the rewards that come from being compassionate and kind. It’s never too late to turn things around though. I pray you’ll find kindness and goodness in your heart that you can extend to Ms. McBride. In the meantime, take care and know that your current behavior toward her is wholly disrespectful and cruel.
Nice and well worded...It would take me several drafts to write a letter as responsive as this. My anger is still to high voltage to address him and be coherent. Yours is great.
Thank you so much, Shirley! That really means a lot ❤️ Whenever you do feel ready to address him, I know you will do an amazing job speaking truth to power. Your anger is the righteous kind that leads to important change!
This is outstanding! may we copy and send this to him as well? I particularly love the final substantive paragraph - he really is missing out.
My only note is that, if you watch the video, I don’t think he ever said “Gentleman from Delaware”. I believe he said “Representative from Delaware, Mr. McBride.” (Doesn’t change anything about your letter or how bad this is)
I was confused about earlier wording in the article, too (or was it the subheading?). It was clarified near the end of the article: The "gentleman" remark was from another 'colleague' earlier in the year.
Oh my gosh, that is fantastic! 🤩 I’m so honored that she is considering using the template! And since she is FROM TEXAS, it’s sure to get to him and likely take priority! Yay!!
Thank you so much, Celeste! 💜 Yes, absolutely - please feel free to copy and send any/all parts of my letter! And good catch about his wording — I somehow missed that! The more of us that reach out to Self and voice our dissent, the better!! We got this!!
Ok I'm maybe missing something - where do we send this? Just by paper/mail? His website seems to require that you live in his district to be able to send him something?
I ran into the same issue where his website seemed to require you live in his district to send him something. This link seems to suggest he can be reached at keith.self@mail.house.gov:
If you scroll down, the email is listed under the “CAPITOL OFFICE” section. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to reach him, but it seems accurate enough so I directed my message to that email. Hopefully it is correct! 😬
This is something I WANTED to do, but I'm in Europe and cannot make such a call. Nor am I able to send him a message via his web form, because I'm out of district.
So if someone else calls this number to thank Rep. Keating, please let them know that you are also speaking for at least one transgender refugee who is unable to call. (Thanks!)
The number for the Capitol switchboard, from which you can be connected to any office, House or Senate, is 202-224-3121, a number long ago burned into my memory.
Iowa Senator Bisignano started this: he stood up for transgender people, and I’m glad other Democrats are FINALLY starting to do so as well!!! The utter DISRESPECT from these Republicans is absolutely disgusting!
It's late but better late than never....and hopefully now that one Dem has broken the ice the rest will follow. It's pathetic how some Congressional reps are behaving like bullying children.
Thank you. I also added a note about it. TYT hates the trans community and accepts that some discrimination of trans people is “good” because it’s “what’s popular”. Also, Ana’s why I left the left grift.
Good for Keating, but the silence of the dems on this issue has been deafening. How many other Democrats were in the meeting? Where were they on this? It would also be nice to see other Democratic congresswomen vocally, stridently support their sister. Enough! Stand up! Speak up!
Good for Representative McBride too. All honor to her.
I understand the frustrations some folks have had with the lack of push back from McBride. I think she has been trying to take the high road by either ignoring or gracefully deflecting the absurd and bigoted attacks against her. I don't have much hope with that approach causing the MAGA cult or Republican fascists to suddenly become empathetic. However, perhaps for some people in the middle (or who could care less about trans people/are on the edge about them) it might be a useful juxtaposition. On one side you have an elected representative trying to do a job for her constituents, on the other, cruel and obnoxious trolls who are trying to demean her at every turn. Hopefully that contrast will stand out to those Americans who still have something of a conscience. In either case, it is really hard to watch these and not feel sympathy for Sarah McBride. She doesn't deserve to be treated this way, and despite not agreeing with the way she has responded to everything, I think we should have her back on a point of dignity and principle alone.
It’s beyond unacceptable that Representative McBride had to deal with this blatant disrespect in a congressional hearing. Chairman Self’s intentional misgendering is an obviously deliberate attempt to undermine her. McBride’s response, flipping it back on him with “Madam Chair,” was a masterclass in grace under pressure - more than I would have in that situation. No one should have to constantly fight for basic respect, especially not in a setting that’s supposed to be about serious governance. It’s good to see Dems finally calling this out.
Well said.
At least they're all finally showing backbone, I guess.
Way past time Dems grew a spine but I'll take it
When Rep. McBride was getting grief for refusing to stand up, I hoped it was simply because she didn't know she'd have backup from Dems. I'm *guessing* that Rep. Keating had told Rep. McBride that he'd have her back, which gave her room to push back on Rep. Self, who was then so rattled he just shut down the meeting.
And while normally I'm not a huge fan of using misgendering as a counter-attack, I'm so happy that Reps. McBride and Keating did this, so I don't really care this time!
I believe back when that Hakeem Jeffries said he would support her in whatever choice she made, she had to know it wouldn't stop at bathrooms.
About damn time.
Here’s the letter I sent to Keith Self. It’s pretty long so idk if he’ll read it but I was glad to put it out there anyhow:
Dear Mr. Self,
Although I am not from your state or district, I nonetheless wanted to reach out regarding your behavior at the recent meeting of the House Foreign Affairs Committee. From what I understand, you called the transgender congresswoman Sarah McBride the “gentleman from Delaware.” Then, immediately after the hearing, you took to Twitter to justify your actions, writing, “It is the policy of the United States to recognize two sexes, female and male.”
Your statement echoes language from a Trump executive order — one with no binding authority over the house and no legal standing of its own. Nothing in the order compels you to misgender your colleague, nor does it excuse your refusal to extend her even the most basic courtesy or respect.
Transgender people like Sarah McBride are simply trying to live their lives and be themselves, like the rest of us. It doesn’t make a statement to call her “Mr. McBride” or “gentleman” aside from making the statement that you disrespect the basic integrity of your colleagues.
I am sorry that you seem to feel so threatened by people whose experience of their gender is different from yours. There is so much joy and goodness to be found when we are kind and open-minded towards others. When you deliberately act in ways that invalidate and humiliate the most vulnerable among us such as transgender people, you lose some of your own humanity in the process. So I feel sorry for you. You are missing out on creating authentic connections with your transgender colleagues and their allies and on all the rewards that come from being compassionate and kind. It’s never too late to turn things around though. I pray you’ll find kindness and goodness in your heart that you can extend to Ms. McBride. In the meantime, take care and know that your current behavior toward her is wholly disrespectful and cruel.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Nice and well worded...It would take me several drafts to write a letter as responsive as this. My anger is still to high voltage to address him and be coherent. Yours is great.
Thank you so much, Shirley! That really means a lot ❤️ Whenever you do feel ready to address him, I know you will do an amazing job speaking truth to power. Your anger is the righteous kind that leads to important change!
This is outstanding! may we copy and send this to him as well? I particularly love the final substantive paragraph - he really is missing out.
My only note is that, if you watch the video, I don’t think he ever said “Gentleman from Delaware”. I believe he said “Representative from Delaware, Mr. McBride.” (Doesn’t change anything about your letter or how bad this is)
I was confused about earlier wording in the article, too (or was it the subheading?). It was clarified near the end of the article: The "gentleman" remark was from another 'colleague' earlier in the year.
Got it, that makes sense!
I believe my 85-year-old mother FROM TEXAS will be using your letter as a template. Mwah!
Oh my gosh, that is fantastic! 🤩 I’m so honored that she is considering using the template! And since she is FROM TEXAS, it’s sure to get to him and likely take priority! Yay!!
Thank you so much, Celeste! 💜 Yes, absolutely - please feel free to copy and send any/all parts of my letter! And good catch about his wording — I somehow missed that! The more of us that reach out to Self and voice our dissent, the better!! We got this!!
Perfect, thank you so much!!
Ok I'm maybe missing something - where do we send this? Just by paper/mail? His website seems to require that you live in his district to be able to send him something?
I ran into the same issue where his website seemed to require you live in his district to send him something. This link seems to suggest he can be reached at keith.self@mail.house.gov:
https://www.texastribune.org/directory/keith-self/
If you scroll down, the email is listed under the “CAPITOL OFFICE” section. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to reach him, but it seems accurate enough so I directed my message to that email. Hopefully it is correct! 😬
Thank you, sent! Really appreciate all your help!
I wrote to Self as well
That made me get off my rear and call Keating's office to thank him. 202.225.3111
This is something I WANTED to do, but I'm in Europe and cannot make such a call. Nor am I able to send him a message via his web form, because I'm out of district.
So if someone else calls this number to thank Rep. Keating, please let them know that you are also speaking for at least one transgender refugee who is unable to call. (Thanks!)
The number for the Capitol switchboard, from which you can be connected to any office, House or Senate, is 202-224-3121, a number long ago burned into my memory.
Same here!
I should have read the messages. I especially like that his website has some instructions in Spanish!
Technically dump truck said the largest gamete at conception which is female, ergo, McBride is a woman and so is Madame Chair Self. Checkmate.
Iowa Senator Bisignano started this: he stood up for transgender people, and I’m glad other Democrats are FINALLY starting to do so as well!!! The utter DISRESPECT from these Republicans is absolutely disgusting!
It’s about fucking time Democrats take a solid stance FOR us!
I hope to see Congresswoman McBride stand up and defend herself and her community; the lying down and rolling over has been infuriating.
WOW. Props to Keating and I damn well hope other Dems follow suit. McBride has more worth in her whole body than Self does in his little finger.
It's late but better late than never....and hopefully now that one Dem has broken the ice the rest will follow. It's pathetic how some Congressional reps are behaving like bullying children.
Could we not link a TYT video. They are seriously problematic for the trans community.
https://www.transgendermap.com/issues/topics/media/ana-kasparian/ for example.
Thank you. I also added a note about it. TYT hates the trans community and accepts that some discrimination of trans people is “good” because it’s “what’s popular”. Also, Ana’s why I left the left grift.
Agreed. TYT are awful in multiple ways, not the least of which is in regards to trans people.
Please find another source for the video, guys.
Good for Keating, but the silence of the dems on this issue has been deafening. How many other Democrats were in the meeting? Where were they on this? It would also be nice to see other Democratic congresswomen vocally, stridently support their sister. Enough! Stand up! Speak up!
Good for Representative McBride too. All honor to her.
I have the same question. Has any other den other than Keating been vocal?
While good that Keating said something, Dems in attendance need to be loud about this.
I understand the frustrations some folks have had with the lack of push back from McBride. I think she has been trying to take the high road by either ignoring or gracefully deflecting the absurd and bigoted attacks against her. I don't have much hope with that approach causing the MAGA cult or Republican fascists to suddenly become empathetic. However, perhaps for some people in the middle (or who could care less about trans people/are on the edge about them) it might be a useful juxtaposition. On one side you have an elected representative trying to do a job for her constituents, on the other, cruel and obnoxious trolls who are trying to demean her at every turn. Hopefully that contrast will stand out to those Americans who still have something of a conscience. In either case, it is really hard to watch these and not feel sympathy for Sarah McBride. She doesn't deserve to be treated this way, and despite not agreeing with the way she has responded to everything, I think we should have her back on a point of dignity and principle alone.