Excellent advice. As a federal political prisoner, the holidays meant only limited access to rec, the library, and the chapel. And a meal that was better than average. When I got out, and came out, the family I had before going to prison no longer existed. My father died of cancer a month before I went down. My mom moved to TN where my sister could look after her. I talk to her Christmas morning, but in her senility, it is not much of a conversation. My wife had moved back to her family in southern Indiana. She would soon divorce me, though we remained friends until she died last summer in a car accident. I haven’t seen or heard from any of my cousins since I got out and came out. And my best and oldest friend, now a Trump cheerleader, turned on me viciously when I came out to her. My lesbian daughter visited me for a while today. She liked the present I gave her, but she couldn’t stay long.
So I don’t really celebrate holidays much anymore more. However, for me every day is Christmas & Thanksgiving, New Year’s Day and So’hain. Every day is a celebration of life, love and the communion of existence. Whatever the circumstances, I celebrate every moment of existence.
As always, thank you for this. Thanksgiving was our first big holiday since my thirteen-year old came out, and while things went well, we also learned a lot. These small tips are so helpful!
As an ally there are so many valuable suggestions in this piece. I especially enjoyed the suggestion that if you're inviting someone let them know they are welcome to bring friends. Offering to join in on bathroom trips! So many good tips!
Thank you for this helpful list. As the parent of an adult trans woman, and the aunt of a non-binary nibling (I love that word), I am glad to have the suggestion of inviting friends who may not have supportive family. Keep up your good and thoughtful work. I'm not alone in appreciating it!
i stayed in an abusive relationship for 20 years, for my kids. My ex is a narcissistic serial cheater who is physically and emotionally abusive when upset. But she is spending the holidays surrounded by family, including my kids, and i am alone. Because i'm transgender, and she's not.
Happy holidays to you and your family! We so appreciate the difficult and endless work you do, especially since it’s so personal. We have a 14 year old trans daughter and I love having such strong role models for her. Thanks for being you.
Thank you for your advice not only for person whom is trans but parent who is cisgender just trying to love their child(adult -trans child) wanting them to know that their “you” is what we love. “ my baby you’ll always be”
Thanks, Erin -- I have friends who struggle with all these elements of the holidays and this is solid advice. I enjoy your posts and admire deeply what you are doing. Thank you.
Excellent advice. As a federal political prisoner, the holidays meant only limited access to rec, the library, and the chapel. And a meal that was better than average. When I got out, and came out, the family I had before going to prison no longer existed. My father died of cancer a month before I went down. My mom moved to TN where my sister could look after her. I talk to her Christmas morning, but in her senility, it is not much of a conversation. My wife had moved back to her family in southern Indiana. She would soon divorce me, though we remained friends until she died last summer in a car accident. I haven’t seen or heard from any of my cousins since I got out and came out. And my best and oldest friend, now a Trump cheerleader, turned on me viciously when I came out to her. My lesbian daughter visited me for a while today. She liked the present I gave her, but she couldn’t stay long.
So I don’t really celebrate holidays much anymore more. However, for me every day is Christmas & Thanksgiving, New Year’s Day and So’hain. Every day is a celebration of life, love and the communion of existence. Whatever the circumstances, I celebrate every moment of existence.
As always, thank you for this. Thanksgiving was our first big holiday since my thirteen-year old came out, and while things went well, we also learned a lot. These small tips are so helpful!
As an ally there are so many valuable suggestions in this piece. I especially enjoyed the suggestion that if you're inviting someone let them know they are welcome to bring friends. Offering to join in on bathroom trips! So many good tips!
Happy holidays Erin. The work both you and Zooey are doing is invaluable.
It's nice to read something on here that's heartwarming rather than heart-alarming!
Thank you for this helpful list. As the parent of an adult trans woman, and the aunt of a non-binary nibling (I love that word), I am glad to have the suggestion of inviting friends who may not have supportive family. Keep up your good and thoughtful work. I'm not alone in appreciating it!
Susan
Thank you for the list. These are great! Going to share this post with other parents/allies of transgender people.
Happy Holidays Erin and Zooey!
What a helpful and sensitive guide! Happy holidays, Erin!
i stayed in an abusive relationship for 20 years, for my kids. My ex is a narcissistic serial cheater who is physically and emotionally abusive when upset. But she is spending the holidays surrounded by family, including my kids, and i am alone. Because i'm transgender, and she's not.
Happy holidays to you and your family! We so appreciate the difficult and endless work you do, especially since it’s so personal. We have a 14 year old trans daughter and I love having such strong role models for her. Thanks for being you.
Thank you for your advice not only for person whom is trans but parent who is cisgender just trying to love their child(adult -trans child) wanting them to know that their “you” is what we love. “ my baby you’ll always be”
Thanks, Erin -- I have friends who struggle with all these elements of the holidays and this is solid advice. I enjoy your posts and admire deeply what you are doing. Thank you.