28 Comments

The map is so visual. My immediate family all live in Oregon, WA, and Colorado. Simply by luck or by some unconscious decision making. Studying the map I feel an explosion of emotions. I remind myself never to take for granted where I live. The map truly impacts my travel and vacation decisions. I am making more informed decisions where I contribute my financial gifts. This map is a gift and I appreciate having access to it.

Expand full comment

It definitely impacts mine and the precautions I take when I speak somewhere.

Expand full comment

Thank you for recently coming to Utah even though I doubt that it felt safe.

Expand full comment

I loved Utah. It is a beautiful state, and I hope it can be made to be safe one day.

Expand full comment

I wish I was optimistic about Utah's future.

Right now, results of a 2023 Public Religion Research Institute survey are being touted as proof of how accepting Utahns are of the LGBTQ+ community (claiming in headlines that UT is more so than CA). Combine that with our hateful governor who repeatedly claims to be an ally while signaling to our legislature that he will immediately sign any hateful bill they send to him and it's quickly clear that too many people here don't think that anything needs to change. Utah is beautiful (except during the nasty inversions that last most of the winter). I wish the scenery was enough.

Expand full comment

We loved Utah when we lived in Layton & Tooele (moved out in 2004). Our daughter has since made quite a few friends there; she said SLC felt friendly & safe while visiting back in spring ‘23. I can’t say that I’m surprised by the current legislation though (between conservatives & LDS). Sadly, none of us will be traveling there again anytime soon since our daughter is trans. I hope her friends remain safe there…

Expand full comment

Do you share where your speaking engagements dates and locations? I live in Oregon and if you were to speak I would hate to miss it.

Expand full comment

Only if very public. Otherwise I don't because of large online hate accounts and violent threats.

Expand full comment

Our org (Trans Youth Equality Foundation ) has been running for almost 20 years with little attacks. Recently we were attacked by Libs of TikTok and Elon Musk himself which drew the attention of over 20 million crazy people. They doxxed members of the board. We had to purchase a more serious security system, involve the police, FBI and DOJ. We had to deal with crazy haters and threats. We were scared, we are reinventing how we do everything and certainly anything public facing. Until you face these haters, out and proud maga extremists, you dont know what it's like to be on their radar. You think you know but you just dont quite know until you are directly targeted.How dark the irrational, bold, emboldened, uninformed , crazy they are. Being attacked by Terfs seemed like nothing compared to this. It's only been a couple weeks so I have no words of wisdom. I can see it wears down our staff, our board and parents and needless to say, the youth we serve. As advocates you strive to convey hope and optimism. It was easier before.My new concern is these people are unhinged,I hear their voices,I believe them and I am afraid it will wear down the most devoted advocates among us. As I regather my strength I will find the optimism again. Now it's about staying safe...... feeling safe....that will take time. Phew. Stay safe. You are needed and appreciated. www.transyouthequality.org

Expand full comment

Interesting that Elon Musk was part of the hate brigade…his oldest child is trans. Cult leaders (like Trump), prey on weak-minded people looking for a hate cause.

Expand full comment

Perfect example of what I take for granted and trans have to think about 24/7. Of course you would be concerned where your speaking engagements are. I will be much more aware when inviting friends to socialize and letting them choose locations and venues. You truly just raised my awareness again...:)

Expand full comment

I don’t agree with WA Democrats having to swallow the poison pill of Initiative 2081. They were forced to pass it in order to modify it with a simple majority.

I am planning to run for House of Representatives in my District, so we can have not only trans representation in the state, but also ensure that these shenanigans end.

Expand full comment

Totally get that.

Still, it did pass, and there is at least some low level of risk of it getting used negatively. Likewise, it will likely bolster more ballot initiatives in the future.

Expand full comment

It absolutely will. This initiative was backed by a single wealthy donor pumping over $6M into the effort to get it passed. This passage will generate more money funneled into additional anti-trans legislation (of which Rep Walsh has led the charge) and erode the protections within Washington. And Democrats failed to get the messaging out as to why they voted for it. It all favors the Republican effort while the Dems play defense. I want to look Walsh in the eyes every day and remind him that we aren't pawns in his game. Seeing as both my District's reps voted yes, I think I have an opening.

Expand full comment

The youth risk assessment map is almost exactly the 2020 election map of Trump vs. Biden, except for NH, VA, and GA. The nation is just incredibly, deeply polarized on trans issues, as well as seemingly on nearly every other major social issue also. It is sad that basic human rights depend on which state borders surround you.

Expand full comment

New Hampshire deciding to be the bastion of stupidity in New England is irksome.

Expand full comment

It is rather rough there right now.

Expand full comment

It's a sad commentary on the state of this national shitshow when the best that can be said is "...well, it isn't 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 much worse than last month."

The country is cut in two. Relative safety on one side, relative safety on the other side... giant moat of 𝘮𝘰𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘢𝘷𝘢 in the middle. Flying from Baltimore to Albuquerque? Better hope your flight doesn't connect through Houston! Coast-to-coast road trip? Safer to detour through 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘊𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘥𝘢 than travel your own country's highways! (*edit- Nevermind all the folks who have to find a way to survive 𝘪𝘯 the damn lava...)

Makes me want to crawl in a hole and pull the hole in after me, some days.

Expand full comment

We’re planning a move this summer to the twin cities area to get to a safe state to raise our trans kid. We’re currently in TN, where I’ve lived my whole life. I’m so scared to leave & keep second guessing if this is the right thing to do. But it’s different than giving up or letting them win to try and raise my kid somewhere we don’t have to fight for her right to exist, right? It’s going to be so hard to uproot our family but it’s worth it to keep them safe right? This is an agonizing decision but it feels like something that will only get harder the older my kids (5 year old trans daughter, 9 year old cis but gender-bendy brother) get. I feel like I’m losing my mind. But I’ve been up at the capitol every week this session, listening to them try everything they can to strip my kid & myself as her parent of any remaining rights or dignity we have. I don’t think it’s going to get better enough in the next few years to warrant staying when we have the ability to leave (and are worried MN will get more expensive as others flee there, which might make a move then out of our reach financially). Is it the right thing to do? Or at least not obviously the *wrong* thing to do?

Expand full comment

Wisconsin is also pretty liberal (esp. Madison). It has historically been slightly more expensive than MN. I absolutely wouldn’t stay in TN! My husband has family there…very “christian” and anti-trans, despite their neice being trans! Any place that condones conversion therapy would be the last place I’d live!

Expand full comment

We lived in Lakeville MN from 2005 - 2012. The closer you are to the cities, the more liberal the people. Eden Prairie, Minnetonka and most NW suburbs are nice. Rochester was also nice. Minnesota isn’t cheap; housing and state income tax went way up after we left. They do have good social support and schools (which was the reason we moved there - our oldest daughter has CP & epilepsy and was able to graduate with a real HS diploma and lettered in three sports via adapted athletics).

Expand full comment

Several days late...

I hate that you have to endure this, but you're making the right decision. You are putting your children first... your government, where you live right now, is not. It sucks shit that this damned country costs so much just to live in, let alone to 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 in... but your heart is in the right place. Follow it. Don't let bigots tell you how to raise your children. Let your conscience tell you that; you have a good one. No matter what your circumstances may be after the move, your children will grow up knowing that their parents fought for them, even when the rest of the whole benighted world wouldn't, and that will mean 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 to them.

Every LGBTQ+ kid should be so lucky as to have even one parent who'd go so far as you would... cherish them- and they will cherish you.

Expand full comment

By 9 year old brother I meant my daughter’s brother… aka my son 😂

Expand full comment

Excellent review and clarification of maps. Well done. Re:About the Maps and families contacting you about the safety of staying in their home states and safety concerns for trans people in general..... to add here...we often hear from families about how to ascertain where its safe to send their kids to college. They talk about how their college decisions have to be made with this in mind ascertaining if the school is safe (see Campus Pride) and under( resources :college 101 at www.transyouthequality.org) and if the town / city/ state the college is in is safe. We have a list of suggestions but just saying this is top of the mind for supportive parents and trans college bound seniors. We are firm that if given the choice head to safe states and states with most protections and schools with protections. We will tell them also to refer to these maps for concise updated info. thx.- TYEF National/Susan Maasch

Expand full comment

Thanks, Erin!! Vital info

Expand full comment

So helpful. Thank you!

Expand full comment

My extended family & parents live in FL (both my kids and husband were born there). Our youngest daughter is trans & autistic; fortunately, she had her birth cert amended a few years ago. I’m waiting with bated breath of some notice from FL that they’ll reverse this. We CAN’T travel to visit our family & own property there that is of no use to us. Selling it all is going to be difficult given the insurance predicament there thanks to DeSantis (you either can’t get it or pay $9k+ a year). I wish I could sue this effing monster for all of this!

Expand full comment

I'm very concerned about the move from the Idaho state legislatures. Honestly these moves are so archaic in nature I feel like we are beating a dead horse. How much evidence do people need to see before they understand that transitioning is medically necessary?

I mean honestly we are not the ones making a big deal of being trans. If we were allowed to go about this in peace then people would see that we are indeed just people like any other. It appears the problem is that people who don't understand us (or possibly themselves) are so personally repressed that they must project their own negative thoughts and feelings onto those of us who recognize, accept and take action regarding who we.

Expand full comment