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Ash's avatar

How is it possible that I've known for decades that I've wanted this button to exist, and that I'd press it in a heartbeat, and still not realize that I was trans until just a few months ago?

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Tal S.'s avatar

Thanks for this, Erin. I'd heard of the first two buttons, but not the remaining questions. It really is a complicated, difficult, thing, I think - because transition *isn't* magically perfect like that, where you can be guaranteed no social impacts, etc.; and physically, too, hormones can only do so much, and surgery is extremely expensive and painful and difficult. ...

Even if the button could only affect my physical body and not the memories or attitudes of anyone around me, give me a button that would change me instantly into the woman I might have been - none of the pain, expense, difficulty, or long time span of hormonal/surgical transition - and I'm pretty sure I'd slap that button so hard.

But I feel there's something in there, too, about the choice - the way people view being trans, or transitioning, as a choice. Choosing to transition. If I could just show up to friends, family, employers, coworkers, one day and just shrug and say "I don't know what happened, I woke up this morning and my body looked like this [totally female, or totally fem-passing]. Beats me, but it is what it is, and I guess this is who I am now; I think I'll change my name and pronouns and so forth to match." I feel like it would be a very different thing, in terms of acceptance and so forth, compared to being my male-looking self, saying "I'm choosing to go on this path, I'm choosing to undertake various steps to change my body, my appearance, etc. And I would like you to respect me as a woman, and refer to me differently..." ... This is one of the mental hurdles I come across, too.

In any case, thanks as always for all the resources and thoughts, everything you provide :)

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