Our Wedding, From The Woman Who Loves Zooey Zephyr

Zooey Zephyr and I were married on Saturday, December 14th, in front of our friends and family in Missoula, Montana. This is our wedding story.

Photo by David Clumpner

We woke up at 4 in the morning to the crisp winter air of Missoula, Montana, in our honeymoon suite at the Wilma downtown. Zooey would repeatedly tell me that it was actually 4:45, but at that early hour, the time didn’t really matter. Outside, low fog clung to the mountain valley, shrouding the town in a kind of quiet magic. For us, the day was only beginning—hair and makeup awaited, and the wedding photographer was already en route.

In many ways, our wedding day truly began two years earlier, on the White House lawn, as Sam Smith's voice filled the air with Stay With Me. It was the day the Respect for Marriage Act was signed. As we stood together, wrapped in the weight of that moment, Zooey leaned into my ear and whispered that she would marry me someday. Between then and now, there was so much more for us to experience, endure, and build together to arrive at this magical morning.

Photo by David Clumpner

On this chilly Montana morning, we looked at each other with adoration, knowing that the word together would forever define us. I watched her smile grow wider with each passing hour as we moved closer to declaring our love in front of the friends and family who had made the journey—no small feat, given the remoteness of Missoula. Our morning unfolded in the enchanting warmth of a butterfly house, a space made possible by the kind of public education Zooey has always passionately supported. Surrounded by tropical butterflies landing gently on our dresses and the presence of our closest friends who traveled from across the country to be with us, the magic of the day deepened with every moment.

Photo by David Clumpner

Then came the big event. The weather was remarkably beautiful, with the sun breaking through what was supposed to be an overcast day. We stood on the second floor of the wooden hall at the Missoula County Fairgrounds, watching as the first bus arrived, bringing friends from across our lives—some traveling from as far as England and Ireland—who had shaped us into who we are today. It was time to put on our wedding dresses and take photos with our family and wedding party. I watched her face light up, radiant and joyful, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Our wedding photographer would capture that feeling in so many moments throughout the day: my gaze fixed on her, utterly captivated.

Before we knew it, we were lined up as the ceremony began. The string quartet played a rendition of Such Great Heights by The Postal Service, and we made our way to the stage. There, our officiant, Sarah Kate Ellis, guided us through words and promises. When it came time for my vows, I opened my book and let my heart spill out. I spoke of all the reasons I love Zooey—the way her love deepens in adversity, how her beautiful eyes subtly shift color with her emotions, her playfulness and sincerity, and the way her feet instinctively find the rhythm to every song. I shared how my son has grown to love her too, how she transforms everyday moments into magical adventures for him, and how much that means to me. I promised her a love that feels like home, a love that feels like family. I promised her forever, in every sense of the word.

As we stood on that stage, tears of joy streaming down our faces, all I wanted was to reach out and kiss her. And when that moment finally came, it was even more powerful than I had imagined—perfect in every way.

Photo by David Clumpner

The rest of the night was a whirlwind—visiting dozens of tables, reconnecting with friends from childhood, sitting congressmen, dance partners, and transgender icons. Each guest had played a role in shaping who we are, and their presence made the day even more magical. We laughed with delight every time a table assignment we’d worked hard on blossomed into joyful new friendships and unexpected connections. We shared our first dance, spinning and moving to You Can’t Hurry Love by The Supremes and performed by the same string quartet, and continued dancing and spending time with our friends throughout the night. As the evening drew to a close and the last guests departed, we returned to our honeymoon suite, bringing the day full circle to where it had all begun.

In the moments and days since, we embarked on the newest phase of our journey together, with every first announced with significance… first coffee as wives, first morning beside each other as wives, first sneeze as wives. Our son would laugh in feigned annoyance on the drive home as we celebrated our “first left turn in the rain as wives.” We shared in the laughter as a family.

We both know this next chapter will bring its share of joy and adversity. Our wedding is set against the backdrop of an uncertain time and the work we do for the people we care about—a fitting reflection of a relationship that grew from the same environment. But in moments like this, Zooey and I do what we do best: we plant our flag together, for those we care about, and face the future side by side, grounded in an unimaginable love.

Photo by David Clumpner

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Photographer: David Clumpner (davidclumpner)
Event planner: Ariel Berg-DiGangi (adigs9)
Flowers: Garden City Floral (gardencityfloral)
Makeup: Rachel Lockwood (rachel.rockwood.mua)
Thank you: Missoula Butterfly House (missoulabutterflyhouse)

Registry info:

If you would like to support us for our wedding, we have gotten lots of requests for the registry from readers. Please don’t feel obliged, but if you wish, here is our current registry:

• If you are feeling philanthropic, please feel free to donate to any of these three charitable organizations in our name:

  • Forward Montana (Young voter group in Missoula)

  • Blue Mountain Clinic (independent healthcare provider in Missoula)

  • Poverello Center (helps homeless folks in Missoula)

• Zooey is an incredible nerd for mini painting, and we both love Dungeons and Dragons. You can purchase a Dwarven Forge gift card (to erinreed44@gmail.com) here.

• A donation to our wedding and honeymoon fund can be done here.