The situation on the ground for transgender people is deteriorating in real time in the United States. Other countries should open up refugee programs to allow those moving from the US.
You are very brave for staying! Should you ever change your mind: your Hungarian citizenship will grant you access to other EU/Schengen countries as well.
Whatever you do, I wish you all the best. I will keep fighting for inclusivity from the Netherlands.
Thank you for keeping up the fight. I have an amazing doctor who’s been able to fight for their patients’ right to health care of all kinds. It means the world to people like me when someone sees us for who we are and doesn’t deny us the things we need to survive.
In 1936, Reichsfuhrer SS Heinrich Himmler, the murderous architect of the Nazi Holocaust, issued this decree:
“Just as we today have gone back to the ancient German view on the question of marriages mixing different races, so too in our judgment of homosexuality - a symptom of degeneracy which could destroy our race - we must return to the guiding Nordic principal, extermination of degenerates.”
The next year, Himmler ordered the “rounding up” of homosexuals, i.e., the LGBTQ+ community, forcing them first to wear pink triangles before sending them to the Nazi death camps. In all, an estimated 220,000 were murdered in those camps.
For me, it was terrifying to watch Trump and his MAGA henchmen exploit and dehumanize the trans community, the weakest and most vulnerable subset of the greater LGBTQ+ community, in his “final argument” to win his election.
And now that they have seized power, it leads me to fear some reimagining of a “final solution.”
For much of my life I could not truly grasp how did modern, industrial, intellectually current, wealthy, and increasingly powerful Germany of the 1930s get swept up into the devastation of Nazi fascism?
This is how.
And I am growing more frightened of what may come.
I always believed it would be the immigrant population that filled the trains, but I was wrong. With them - packed into those boxcars - will be trans folks, too.
Do not be deceived.
This IS fascism in 21st century America.
This is the beginning of a very dark time.
We need to be more like that subset of German Jews of the early 1930s beginning to sense a horror was coming.
We must all make a decision for ourselves.
We are at a crossroads.
We must prepare for the darkness that is literally at our doorstep.
But, for now, stay strong. Stay alert. Stay focused. Resist.
Every single time these laws have been challenging court we have won. We don’t need to flee our homes, we need to organize and arrange for legal resources to file lawsuits to protect each other. We always win, bullies always back down. We need to stand our ground.
I agree with you and it's the path that I personally choose. But we are all in different stages of our life and our personal mental health battles. Some people really don't need the challenge of "powerful government trying to erase me on a daily basis". Others are energized by these challenges. The option should exist to be safe no matter where you are in your journey and how you feel. I sympathize with people that say "I'm out; I can't deal with this" and it would be wonderful if there were a safe place for them. They deserve it.
I was just about to bring this up. Trumpy has ignored the Supreme Court when they told him unanimously to bring back Abrego García. What makes you think he'll follow the Supreme Court if they rule in our favor and it's *less* than unanimous?
I HOPE the Judicial branch is able to bring the executive to heel, but I'm starting to have my doubts. The fact that this administration is so brazenly quashing everyone's First Amendment rights and PUNISHING people for their speech is, to me, the very darkest omen.
But we err if we rest belief in our safety on the premise that the Trump administration will obey the constitution, due process, or precedent.
We have every reason to believe that Trump MAGA criminality will only continue to mestastisize throughout the federal government as DOGE and Trump judges facilitate our genocide and further radicalize. There's no entity, no force, no restraint remaining to stop them. Our eradication isn't the end game of the GOPMAGA destruction of American democracy and the overturn of the post WWII economic order, it's the BEGINNING.
Also parent of (adult) trans & queer kids. We just fled to a blue state. Best we could do right now. Having trouble selling our old house in a red state
Wishing you the best of luck with the house, and welcome to the relative security of the blue states. We’re moving from our suburb back into the city—there’s safety in numbers.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Honestly, I am perplexed as to why anyone who isn't a white cis hetero man would make the decision to become a first-time homebuyer with the direction America is going in in general. One of my trans friends just bought a house and while I am very happy for him, I was also incredibly surprised.
Currently moving from the suburbs to the city within our blue state. We’re hoping to use our privilege to stay and fight, but leaving the country at some point isn’t off the table.
Erin, I know you're already stretched thin, but if you can find the resources to create a more global "transgender risks" map, it might be a critical time for that...
Seconding this in a big way. Bonus points if it's possible to include analysis of how likely a country may be to accept trans folks under refugee status, and therefore which countries may be most worth preparing immigration qualifications for.
Specifics? Context? What exactly does the UNHRC do and would they accept or help trans Americans? How do you contact them or apply for whatever services they are offering?
On the ground wherever you're going. In Costa Rica, it's in San Jose. Just come in as a tourist, then apply thru the UNHRC. Gives you refugee status, allowing you to work and be a part of the Caja (universal healthcare) immediately.
What Sandra said; if the UNHRC is substantially helping trans Americans, we all would live to hear where and how to factor it in to our survival calculations
On the ground wherever you're going. In Costa Rica, it's in San Jose. Just come in as a tourist, then apply thru the UNHRC. Gives you refugee status, allowing you to work and be a part of the Caja (universal healthcare) immediately.
Canada is only a few years behind the US culturally speaking. I know many trans people there who have told me explicitly not to consider their country as an option to flee to.
My experience is that Canada is vastly more friendly and supportive than even the bluest US states - it's night and day. I expect this to only get better if Carney wins, as polls project he will.
I live in NYC and it’s trans-friendly AF (any backsliding is due to Trumpy’s bullying, not to any state or city laws). That being said, Canada may be out of his reach…for now…
I wouldn't trust Canadian liberals much further than the Democrats here to be honest. I'd rather go to Mexico where there is a staunch leftist populist government that respects human dignity.
My trans kid (27) and their partner are not thinking of leaving, yet. They are mostly just trying to survive life and shitty jobs rn. They live in a blue state with a very strong supportive governor. We discussed other options with Canada and Mexico seeming the most obvious. Their partner is Latinx with family in Mexico, my kid is afraid they won't find a job (college degree but no real career). Very difficult to navigate when they are overwhelmed with life in general.
I appreciate you, Erin. You are a hero during a time when we really need heroes. Norway and Canada look like they are stepping up. And Keir - well, he just changed his name to Neville I guess. I live in Maine where Gov Mills has been one of the few to stand up to Trump and has stood strong on the Maine Human Rights law, which at one time was reinforced by the federal govt. Those days are gone, for now, but we have to insist on human rights for every person and hold tight to that vision: "This dream today embattled, With its back against the wall -- To save the dream for one, It must be saved for ALL." Langston Hughes.
I just completed my move from Georgia to Maryland last week in anticipation of our loss of equal protection laws. I moved away from family to do this which has been devastating. Now it appears that not even Maryland is safe as the rule of law itself is being ignored. Personally, I'm done running.
Hi, I try and stay on top of Maryland stuff, being a resident. Was there something particular in Maryland I missed or just the general WTF-ery of it all at the federal level?
Flee to what? You just reported on Scotland. It’s time to fight, fleeing is only accessible to those that can afford to do so. Fascism is on the march, fleeing just postpones the inevitable. Nah, this isn’t a wait it out thing , we need the world to witness what they’re doing to us. Buy a gun be visible there is no hiding. It’s time to be Trans and proud. When we started the process we knew the risks. We’re here now
This thread really speaks to where my family is right now.
I'm a parent of a transgender teen. My child socially transitioned at 8 years old and gets gender affirming medical care now. I'm grappling with a sense of responsibility to protect them, and trying to figure out how best to do that. They didn't know the risks. They just wanted to be their authentic self as a second grader. To us, it seemed like the world was slowly but surely becoming a more welcoming place to trans people. And it was. That was 2016.
It feels like another life.
Two days ago, my husband and child's father suggested we get a gun. He is envisioning fighting the masked people who may come to detain us for the crime of affirming our child.
I worry having a gun in our house is more likely to endanger our child and us, given the depression we all grapple with.
We organize in our small rural community, testify, write letters, educate, advocate and take risks to make this place safer and more affirming for trans people. We're coming up on our 5th annual Pride celebration, which feels hella risky every single time. We've helped built a strong and resilient community here, in a reddish part of a purple state.
And it's hard. Even though the court placed an injunction on gender affirming care bans, our child's pediatrician stopped prescribing their hormones. There is not another affirming pediatrician for many hundreds of miles.
My husband and I are both sometimes gripped with terror. This administration has been very clear in their intentions to criminalize transgender people and anyone who supports them, especially anyone who facilitates gender affirmation for minors. How hard would it be to pull a list of passports for minors whose parents have changed gender markers and/or names? *The federal government has our names, and address and know we are affirming our child.* They've promised we "will be punished to the fullest extent of the law". We know they use the word law loosely. That's what is most frightening. https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/04/national-child-abuse-prevention-month-2025/
I am willing to fight like hell for my child and all trans people. At the same time, I want my child to get an education, pursue their passions, find a career, spend time with their significant other, make art. Start a family if they want to. I don't want them to always have to fight. I don't want them to be a felon for presenting their ID to an employer. I'm having a hard time seeing a workable future here for them. But they don't want to uproot their life, and they're getting old enough to make some of these decisions. At the same time, we're still responsible for protecting and providing for them.
I'm not sure how best to do that right now.
I do not have an in-demand skill set or a degree that would make immigration easy. My husband has major health issues that make traveling challenging. We looked into New Zealand - I actually have family there - but they have a health requirement my husband wouldn't meet.
And still, just a couple of days ago, he urged me to take the kids and flee, before it is to late. There's a chance we may not see him again for years. This deviatates me. He's a tremendously loving father. I don't want to separate my family.
It's not as simple as stay and fight or flee.
If there were an asylum option, it would make an enormous difference to our peace of mind. I hope other countries step up, and don't wait until they start to disappear us.
As an older trans woman who grew up in an atmosphere of constant hate and judgement, your letter touched me. I am so moved by stories of families fighting FOR each other.
I don’t have any brilliant ideas to add. You clearly have a deep and comprehensive view of the trade offs and risks you face. All I can offer is my thanks and best wishes. Thank you for showing us all what real love looks like and the painful decisions that acts of deep love can require. Bless you and your entire family. Best wishes! I’m so very sorry that life in the US has come to this!
Thank you Shayne. I'm so sorry you had to endure an environment of judgment and hate for so long. I'm sorry that judgment and hate seems to have blown up and is covering the globe. I hope you have been able to carve out a community of love acceptance and resilience around you.
For what it's worth, my sense is that transgender people are on this Earth to help our society deeply transform. Some of the things my child has said to me completely blow my mind. For example, when they were maybe 9 years old they told me in this matter of fact way, "A long long time ago people could walk around outside the gender boxes. And then people came along and locked the boxes up up really tight. My generation is here to take those boxes apart."
I think this backlash we're seeing, as horrifying as it is, is an indication of how successful the movement for transgender rights has been, and will continue to be.
We are all more free when we don't have to live in boxes.
The experience of parenting a transgender child, and supporting them in their purpose of living outside of those boxes, has been the most liberatory experience of my life. It has been transformational for my family and for our small community. We are all more free as a result.
Principals, superintendents, teachers, dentists, doctors, counselors, other kids, other parents, our neighbors and friends, our elected officials, our extended family, librarians and business owners in our community have all had to question the boxes they live in in order to make space for our child and other children like them. I've seen men and boys in particular feel less afraid to express themselves. The little guy on my child's basketball team who had so much fun playing with Barbies with my kiddo. The little boy from a Conservative Christian family who lives down the block (who I think may be gay) who told his mom, "I'm really glad people are nice to S." My child's math teacher, who helped us advocate for district policy, wearing his hair in pigtails. There are so many more examples.
If you believe that patriarchy as a system of control is essential to protect at all costs, then transgender children and adults absolutely are a threat. They are here to take these boxes apart. I don't think this backlash is going to stop them.
I know the backlash is not going to stop me or likely anyone I know. In fact, I sometimes wonder if I would have pushed to accept myself if I hadn’t been constantly reminded of who I really am by all the backlash.
As for my own support, my world is many times richer than it has ever been and not just with new chosen family. My younger sister said to me recently that she really values my being trans and open about it because every day she feels like it makes her a better person. Just that though brings me tears of joy!!!
🥹 It brings me to tears of joy too! Thank you for sharing some of your story with me, and for sharing your truth with your people. It does make us all better. It is a spirit of truth and love that cannot be dominated.
See if you can find a job that allows you to work 100% remotely. That will open up the possibility of obtaining a "digital nomad" visa from a number of countries, including Spain and Portugal.
I wouldn't rule out Catholic countries. For example, Costa Rica has lgbtq+ rights built into their Constitution and healthcare system. People can be Catholic and socially progressive.
At least in Spain, under the Franco regime (ended with his death in 1975), Spaniards got really sick of authoritarian theocracy. In particular, they are in no hurry to return to the days of liberal families' babies being stolen by the nurses in Catholic hospitals and sold to conservative families. Both governments are secular - not just in theory, but in practice.
The UK Supreme Court just ruled Trans identities are NOT legally valid, and sex/gender discrimination is not possible nor criminal against transgender people. There's no hope or future for UK Trans people, not any longer. The court said, cravenly and counterfactually, that this ruling DIDN'T mean that discrimination and legalized bias were now suddenly made the new order of the day, but they couldn't even communicate that pollyanna BS with any conviction, whatsoever. Both Labour and Conservatives support the ruling, meaning no major party or coalition has the back of Trans people IN EVEN THE SMALLEST POSSIBLE WAY.
Trans Britons are now considering the EU, or New Zealand.
I've just now sent messages to Canada, Ireland, Mexico and Columbia requesting refugee status for transgender people and the pathway forward if there are safe places.
For those looking for domestic refuge, Minnesota has--so far--been safe for us. We're in the Rochester area, and the Twin Cities is holding strong too. Looks like this might be one of the bastions that can hold out the longest.
For those who couldn't get a passport in time: I moved from TX right before inauguration, and my drivers license was with old info. I already had a court order. Not only was I able to transfer my Texas DL to a MN one, but also had no issues applying for an enhanced ID that allows leaving the country by water or land. Currently waiting on the final document review and printed license, but the loofah office lady said she didn't foresee any issues. Having an option for international travel that is under state jurisdiction, not directly federal, might provide an extra layer of resilience.
I'm in NYC, and I'm on Medicaid and Callen-Lorde is my clinic. While we have a robust LGBTQIA+ culture, Trumpy is attacking us first and infuriatingly, many institutions like NYU Langone and Columbia are caving to his fascist bullying and it's pissing me off. Callen-Lorde seems too obscure for the eye of Saur-Don to cast his gaze upon it, though.
Minnesota is good, Illinois is also good. Illinois' governor is actively pushing back against GOPMAGA criminality, one of the few blue governors on the offensive. I hope JB runs for the White House in 2028, assuming we're still having elections, which I strongly doubt.
Yeah…it’s also difficult to immigrate to a socialized medicine country if you have an expensive disability, which trans people are about twice as likely to have as compared with cis people. Refugee status may be the only option for some of us.
Right now, I truly don't know what I would do if I had the means to relocate. I don't, so it's an academic question at best, but there's part of me that wants to dig my heels in and go down swinging, because fuck these bastards and fuck them thinking they can take my country away from me like this... and then there's part of me that is just so fed up and worn out that I think I'd throw a few bags in the car and put this whole sorry shitshow in the rearview without a second thought if I had so much as a couch to surf on north of the border.
The speed with which this fascist backlash against even the most gradual progress took hold and festered makes it very difficult to imagine reaching a point where it couldn't happen again just as quickly, and even if we somehow get through the next four years without facing out-and-out extermination, I suspect I'll spend the rest of my life with one eye cast warily over my shoulder. This country has, once and for all, lost my trust. Perhaps it never deserved any in the first place. Trust is for people, when they've earned it- not for institutions, no matter how seemingly stable. Not ever again.
As always, thank you so much for you and your team's work, Erin. What I've seen in my own research is that nowhere will take us as long as we have blue states claiming sanctuary laws or cities. Even then, a lot of us in red states or rural areas don't have the means to move to these refuge states, let alone elsewhere abroad.
I’m a dual citizen… US and Hungary. Sadly it’s a race to the bottom for these two on which is more hostile to trans people.
But I’m staying. I’m a clinician serving trans folks, and I know my services are more needed now than ever.
Thank you for your service to the trans community!
Thank you. Albeit I cannot imagine doing anything else. Serving my community is the greatest gift of self love I could imagine.
I'm sorry you have this coming at you on both sides—hugs from Australia.
You are very brave for staying! Should you ever change your mind: your Hungarian citizenship will grant you access to other EU/Schengen countries as well.
Whatever you do, I wish you all the best. I will keep fighting for inclusivity from the Netherlands.
If you're a citizen of Hungary you should in theory be able to live and work in the EU. You don't have to move to Hungary to live in the EU.
Thank you for keeping up the fight. I have an amazing doctor who’s been able to fight for their patients’ right to health care of all kinds. It means the world to people like me when someone sees us for who we are and doesn’t deny us the things we need to survive.
In 1936, Reichsfuhrer SS Heinrich Himmler, the murderous architect of the Nazi Holocaust, issued this decree:
“Just as we today have gone back to the ancient German view on the question of marriages mixing different races, so too in our judgment of homosexuality - a symptom of degeneracy which could destroy our race - we must return to the guiding Nordic principal, extermination of degenerates.”
The next year, Himmler ordered the “rounding up” of homosexuals, i.e., the LGBTQ+ community, forcing them first to wear pink triangles before sending them to the Nazi death camps. In all, an estimated 220,000 were murdered in those camps.
For me, it was terrifying to watch Trump and his MAGA henchmen exploit and dehumanize the trans community, the weakest and most vulnerable subset of the greater LGBTQ+ community, in his “final argument” to win his election.
And now that they have seized power, it leads me to fear some reimagining of a “final solution.”
For much of my life I could not truly grasp how did modern, industrial, intellectually current, wealthy, and increasingly powerful Germany of the 1930s get swept up into the devastation of Nazi fascism?
This is how.
And I am growing more frightened of what may come.
I always believed it would be the immigrant population that filled the trains, but I was wrong. With them - packed into those boxcars - will be trans folks, too.
Do not be deceived.
This IS fascism in 21st century America.
This is the beginning of a very dark time.
We need to be more like that subset of German Jews of the early 1930s beginning to sense a horror was coming.
We must all make a decision for ourselves.
We are at a crossroads.
We must prepare for the darkness that is literally at our doorstep.
But, for now, stay strong. Stay alert. Stay focused. Resist.
We must always resist.
I wrote about this terrifying parallel here: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-hitler-lgbtq-transgender-government-websites-erased_n_67ddf235e4b0c549954933c5?hp_auth_done=1#
Ali, thank you so much for your reply.
Thank you for bringing to light E’s story.
Thank you for your strength and your courage.
Thank you for being the mother every child needs.
Resistance in every venue is essential and necessary to win this fight.
Thank you for standing firm in the face of encroaching darkness.
Standing firm and speaking the truth on behalf of E. is all I can do.
Every single time these laws have been challenging court we have won. We don’t need to flee our homes, we need to organize and arrange for legal resources to file lawsuits to protect each other. We always win, bullies always back down. We need to stand our ground.
I note this in my last paragraph.
It's never a bad thing to give people options.
I agree with you and it's the path that I personally choose. But we are all in different stages of our life and our personal mental health battles. Some people really don't need the challenge of "powerful government trying to erase me on a daily basis". Others are energized by these challenges. The option should exist to be safe no matter where you are in your journey and how you feel. I sympathize with people that say "I'm out; I can't deal with this" and it would be wonderful if there were a safe place for them. They deserve it.
Doesn't matter I'm afraid. This admin is ignoring the Judiciary. Laws are effectively meaningless unless you're in the targeted class.
I was just about to bring this up. Trumpy has ignored the Supreme Court when they told him unanimously to bring back Abrego García. What makes you think he'll follow the Supreme Court if they rule in our favor and it's *less* than unanimous?
I HOPE the Judicial branch is able to bring the executive to heel, but I'm starting to have my doubts. The fact that this administration is so brazenly quashing everyone's First Amendment rights and PUNISHING people for their speech is, to me, the very darkest omen.
But we err if we rest belief in our safety on the premise that the Trump administration will obey the constitution, due process, or precedent.
We have every reason to believe that Trump MAGA criminality will only continue to mestastisize throughout the federal government as DOGE and Trump judges facilitate our genocide and further radicalize. There's no entity, no force, no restraint remaining to stop them. Our eradication isn't the end game of the GOPMAGA destruction of American democracy and the overturn of the post WWII economic order, it's the BEGINNING.
Life as the parent of a trans kid right now: we're not fleeing yet—but we are selling our home to free up the assets we have.
Also parent of (adult) trans & queer kids. We just fled to a blue state. Best we could do right now. Having trouble selling our old house in a red state
Wishing you the best of luck with the house, and welcome to the relative security of the blue states. We’re moving from our suburb back into the city—there’s safety in numbers.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Honestly, I am perplexed as to why anyone who isn't a white cis hetero man would make the decision to become a first-time homebuyer with the direction America is going in in general. One of my trans friends just bought a house and while I am very happy for him, I was also incredibly surprised.
Ali Moss - see my comment listed here - as a parent I am wondering are you looking to stay in US (moving to another state) or looking beyond U.S. ?
Currently moving from the suburbs to the city within our blue state. We’re hoping to use our privilege to stay and fight, but leaving the country at some point isn’t off the table.
thank you
Erin, I know you're already stretched thin, but if you can find the resources to create a more global "transgender risks" map, it might be a critical time for that...
There's https://transrightsmap.tgeu.org/home/ for Europe and parts of Asia.
Seconding this in a big way. Bonus points if it's possible to include analysis of how likely a country may be to accept trans folks under refugee status, and therefore which countries may be most worth preparing immigration qualifications for.
The UNHRC is granting refugee status all over the world, know from first-hand experience as we're in Costa Rica since January.
Specifics? Context? What exactly does the UNHRC do and would they accept or help trans Americans? How do you contact them or apply for whatever services they are offering?
On the ground wherever you're going. In Costa Rica, it's in San Jose. Just come in as a tourist, then apply thru the UNHRC. Gives you refugee status, allowing you to work and be a part of the Caja (universal healthcare) immediately.
What Sandra said; if the UNHRC is substantially helping trans Americans, we all would live to hear where and how to factor it in to our survival calculations
On the ground wherever you're going. In Costa Rica, it's in San Jose. Just come in as a tourist, then apply thru the UNHRC. Gives you refugee status, allowing you to work and be a part of the Caja (universal healthcare) immediately.
Oh, that's cool! When Nixon got elected, my grandpa got a casita there!
I guess it's come full circle a semicentury later!
Someone started a petition in Australia, Asylum for Gender and Sexual Minorities from the United States
https://www.aph.gov.au/e-petitions/petition/EN7163
If I could afford to move, I would - probably to Malta. Here to fight, I guess.
I would move to Montréal, Canada. For many, many reasons.
Canada is only a few years behind the US culturally speaking. I know many trans people there who have told me explicitly not to consider their country as an option to flee to.
My experience is that Canada is vastly more friendly and supportive than even the bluest US states - it's night and day. I expect this to only get better if Carney wins, as polls project he will.
I live in NYC and it’s trans-friendly AF (any backsliding is due to Trumpy’s bullying, not to any state or city laws). That being said, Canada may be out of his reach…for now…
I would have agreed with you until Trumpy made his bid to annex Canada…
I wouldn't trust Canadian liberals much further than the Democrats here to be honest. I'd rather go to Mexico where there is a staunch leftist populist government that respects human dignity.
My trans kid (27) and their partner are not thinking of leaving, yet. They are mostly just trying to survive life and shitty jobs rn. They live in a blue state with a very strong supportive governor. We discussed other options with Canada and Mexico seeming the most obvious. Their partner is Latinx with family in Mexico, my kid is afraid they won't find a job (college degree but no real career). Very difficult to navigate when they are overwhelmed with life in general.
The NDP also exist in Canada and they did push Trudeau's government to the left, such as with Pharmacare…
I appreciate you, Erin. You are a hero during a time when we really need heroes. Norway and Canada look like they are stepping up. And Keir - well, he just changed his name to Neville I guess. I live in Maine where Gov Mills has been one of the few to stand up to Trump and has stood strong on the Maine Human Rights law, which at one time was reinforced by the federal govt. Those days are gone, for now, but we have to insist on human rights for every person and hold tight to that vision: "This dream today embattled, With its back against the wall -- To save the dream for one, It must be saved for ALL." Langston Hughes.
Janet Mills is one of the only remaining Dems with even a vestigial spine. I love her.
I just completed my move from Georgia to Maryland last week in anticipation of our loss of equal protection laws. I moved away from family to do this which has been devastating. Now it appears that not even Maryland is safe as the rule of law itself is being ignored. Personally, I'm done running.
Hi, I try and stay on top of Maryland stuff, being a resident. Was there something particular in Maryland I missed or just the general WTF-ery of it all at the federal level?
Nothing specific about maryland so much as federal renditions of citizens even from here without due process.
Flee to what? You just reported on Scotland. It’s time to fight, fleeing is only accessible to those that can afford to do so. Fascism is on the march, fleeing just postpones the inevitable. Nah, this isn’t a wait it out thing , we need the world to witness what they’re doing to us. Buy a gun be visible there is no hiding. It’s time to be Trans and proud. When we started the process we knew the risks. We’re here now
This thread really speaks to where my family is right now.
I'm a parent of a transgender teen. My child socially transitioned at 8 years old and gets gender affirming medical care now. I'm grappling with a sense of responsibility to protect them, and trying to figure out how best to do that. They didn't know the risks. They just wanted to be their authentic self as a second grader. To us, it seemed like the world was slowly but surely becoming a more welcoming place to trans people. And it was. That was 2016.
It feels like another life.
Two days ago, my husband and child's father suggested we get a gun. He is envisioning fighting the masked people who may come to detain us for the crime of affirming our child.
I worry having a gun in our house is more likely to endanger our child and us, given the depression we all grapple with.
We organize in our small rural community, testify, write letters, educate, advocate and take risks to make this place safer and more affirming for trans people. We're coming up on our 5th annual Pride celebration, which feels hella risky every single time. We've helped built a strong and resilient community here, in a reddish part of a purple state.
And it's hard. Even though the court placed an injunction on gender affirming care bans, our child's pediatrician stopped prescribing their hormones. There is not another affirming pediatrician for many hundreds of miles.
My husband and I are both sometimes gripped with terror. This administration has been very clear in their intentions to criminalize transgender people and anyone who supports them, especially anyone who facilitates gender affirmation for minors. How hard would it be to pull a list of passports for minors whose parents have changed gender markers and/or names? *The federal government has our names, and address and know we are affirming our child.* They've promised we "will be punished to the fullest extent of the law". We know they use the word law loosely. That's what is most frightening. https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/04/national-child-abuse-prevention-month-2025/
I am willing to fight like hell for my child and all trans people. At the same time, I want my child to get an education, pursue their passions, find a career, spend time with their significant other, make art. Start a family if they want to. I don't want them to always have to fight. I don't want them to be a felon for presenting their ID to an employer. I'm having a hard time seeing a workable future here for them. But they don't want to uproot their life, and they're getting old enough to make some of these decisions. At the same time, we're still responsible for protecting and providing for them.
I'm not sure how best to do that right now.
I do not have an in-demand skill set or a degree that would make immigration easy. My husband has major health issues that make traveling challenging. We looked into New Zealand - I actually have family there - but they have a health requirement my husband wouldn't meet.
And still, just a couple of days ago, he urged me to take the kids and flee, before it is to late. There's a chance we may not see him again for years. This deviatates me. He's a tremendously loving father. I don't want to separate my family.
It's not as simple as stay and fight or flee.
If there were an asylum option, it would make an enormous difference to our peace of mind. I hope other countries step up, and don't wait until they start to disappear us.
As an older trans woman who grew up in an atmosphere of constant hate and judgement, your letter touched me. I am so moved by stories of families fighting FOR each other.
I don’t have any brilliant ideas to add. You clearly have a deep and comprehensive view of the trade offs and risks you face. All I can offer is my thanks and best wishes. Thank you for showing us all what real love looks like and the painful decisions that acts of deep love can require. Bless you and your entire family. Best wishes! I’m so very sorry that life in the US has come to this!
Thank you Shayne. I'm so sorry you had to endure an environment of judgment and hate for so long. I'm sorry that judgment and hate seems to have blown up and is covering the globe. I hope you have been able to carve out a community of love acceptance and resilience around you.
For what it's worth, my sense is that transgender people are on this Earth to help our society deeply transform. Some of the things my child has said to me completely blow my mind. For example, when they were maybe 9 years old they told me in this matter of fact way, "A long long time ago people could walk around outside the gender boxes. And then people came along and locked the boxes up up really tight. My generation is here to take those boxes apart."
I think this backlash we're seeing, as horrifying as it is, is an indication of how successful the movement for transgender rights has been, and will continue to be.
We are all more free when we don't have to live in boxes.
The experience of parenting a transgender child, and supporting them in their purpose of living outside of those boxes, has been the most liberatory experience of my life. It has been transformational for my family and for our small community. We are all more free as a result.
Principals, superintendents, teachers, dentists, doctors, counselors, other kids, other parents, our neighbors and friends, our elected officials, our extended family, librarians and business owners in our community have all had to question the boxes they live in in order to make space for our child and other children like them. I've seen men and boys in particular feel less afraid to express themselves. The little guy on my child's basketball team who had so much fun playing with Barbies with my kiddo. The little boy from a Conservative Christian family who lives down the block (who I think may be gay) who told his mom, "I'm really glad people are nice to S." My child's math teacher, who helped us advocate for district policy, wearing his hair in pigtails. There are so many more examples.
If you believe that patriarchy as a system of control is essential to protect at all costs, then transgender children and adults absolutely are a threat. They are here to take these boxes apart. I don't think this backlash is going to stop them.
I know the backlash is not going to stop me or likely anyone I know. In fact, I sometimes wonder if I would have pushed to accept myself if I hadn’t been constantly reminded of who I really am by all the backlash.
As for my own support, my world is many times richer than it has ever been and not just with new chosen family. My younger sister said to me recently that she really values my being trans and open about it because every day she feels like it makes her a better person. Just that though brings me tears of joy!!!
Again, my very best to you and your family!!!
🌻🌻🌻💞🌻🌻🌻
🥹 It brings me to tears of joy too! Thank you for sharing some of your story with me, and for sharing your truth with your people. It does make us all better. It is a spirit of truth and love that cannot be dominated.
See if you can find a job that allows you to work 100% remotely. That will open up the possibility of obtaining a "digital nomad" visa from a number of countries, including Spain and Portugal.
Two Catholic countries? Didn’t we see with Scotland today nowhere is safe
I know many Trans Americans and UK citizens who have moved to Spain and Portugal.
I wouldn't rule out Catholic countries. For example, Costa Rica has lgbtq+ rights built into their Constitution and healthcare system. People can be Catholic and socially progressive.
At least in Spain, under the Franco regime (ended with his death in 1975), Spaniards got really sick of authoritarian theocracy. In particular, they are in no hurry to return to the days of liberal families' babies being stolen by the nurses in Catholic hospitals and sold to conservative families. Both governments are secular - not just in theory, but in practice.
The UK Supreme Court just ruled Trans identities are NOT legally valid, and sex/gender discrimination is not possible nor criminal against transgender people. There's no hope or future for UK Trans people, not any longer. The court said, cravenly and counterfactually, that this ruling DIDN'T mean that discrimination and legalized bias were now suddenly made the new order of the day, but they couldn't even communicate that pollyanna BS with any conviction, whatsoever. Both Labour and Conservatives support the ruling, meaning no major party or coalition has the back of Trans people IN EVEN THE SMALLEST POSSIBLE WAY.
Trans Britons are now considering the EU, or New Zealand.
I'm a transgender ally.
I've just now sent messages to Canada, Ireland, Mexico and Columbia requesting refugee status for transgender people and the pathway forward if there are safe places.
I'll post responses here when I get them.
Always here to back my trans homies.
For those looking for domestic refuge, Minnesota has--so far--been safe for us. We're in the Rochester area, and the Twin Cities is holding strong too. Looks like this might be one of the bastions that can hold out the longest.
For those who couldn't get a passport in time: I moved from TX right before inauguration, and my drivers license was with old info. I already had a court order. Not only was I able to transfer my Texas DL to a MN one, but also had no issues applying for an enhanced ID that allows leaving the country by water or land. Currently waiting on the final document review and printed license, but the loofah office lady said she didn't foresee any issues. Having an option for international travel that is under state jurisdiction, not directly federal, might provide an extra layer of resilience.
I'm in NYC, and I'm on Medicaid and Callen-Lorde is my clinic. While we have a robust LGBTQIA+ culture, Trumpy is attacking us first and infuriatingly, many institutions like NYU Langone and Columbia are caving to his fascist bullying and it's pissing me off. Callen-Lorde seems too obscure for the eye of Saur-Don to cast his gaze upon it, though.
"Saur-Don" is brilliant!
Lol, thank you!
(I’m watching Rings of Power on Amazon after my mom decided to subscribe to Prime and I linked my account so LOTR has been on my mind as of late)
Edit 2: office lady, not loofah lady. Ffs
I just thought, "Now that's full service!"
Edit: new license has correct info and, as of now, folks don't need a court order to select gender for ID
Minnesota is good, Illinois is also good. Illinois' governor is actively pushing back against GOPMAGA criminality, one of the few blue governors on the offensive. I hope JB runs for the White House in 2028, assuming we're still having elections, which I strongly doubt.
Yeah…it’s also difficult to immigrate to a socialized medicine country if you have an expensive disability, which trans people are about twice as likely to have as compared with cis people. Refugee status may be the only option for some of us.
Unfortunately many other countries are transphobic too. I'm not even sure what it will take for them to open their doors for us
Right now, I truly don't know what I would do if I had the means to relocate. I don't, so it's an academic question at best, but there's part of me that wants to dig my heels in and go down swinging, because fuck these bastards and fuck them thinking they can take my country away from me like this... and then there's part of me that is just so fed up and worn out that I think I'd throw a few bags in the car and put this whole sorry shitshow in the rearview without a second thought if I had so much as a couch to surf on north of the border.
The speed with which this fascist backlash against even the most gradual progress took hold and festered makes it very difficult to imagine reaching a point where it couldn't happen again just as quickly, and even if we somehow get through the next four years without facing out-and-out extermination, I suspect I'll spend the rest of my life with one eye cast warily over my shoulder. This country has, once and for all, lost my trust. Perhaps it never deserved any in the first place. Trust is for people, when they've earned it- not for institutions, no matter how seemingly stable. Not ever again.
As always, thank you so much for you and your team's work, Erin. What I've seen in my own research is that nowhere will take us as long as we have blue states claiming sanctuary laws or cities. Even then, a lot of us in red states or rural areas don't have the means to move to these refuge states, let alone elsewhere abroad.
See my comment above about the UNHRC.