51 Comments
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Jackie Batterson's avatar

I would like to see Mike Johnson go all day without using the restroom.

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Leah Abram's avatar

I'd like Mike Johnson and Nancy Mace to never use a restroom again in their life, to have to pee and shit in their pants in the future.

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Julia Nelson's avatar

I am regularly appalled by the self righteous cruelty meted out on a daily basis toward fellow human beings. I thank you for helping me to stay informed.

I hope that these idiotic and inhuman bills to restrict people from using bathrooms are publicized and exposed for the hate crimes they are.

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Ann Journey's avatar

No politician is going to tell me how to define myself or what bathroom I have to use. I will not comply. How about you all?

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Leah Abram's avatar

Death before Detransition. Death before Compliance.

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Ann Journey's avatar

One could even make the argument that detransition and compliance is the same thing!

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Ella's avatar

And, sadly, detransition and death for far too many of us.

What authoritarians try to do is intimidate their targets into compliance, whether it's a small subgroup or an entire population. And then of course they push for more. Compliance just makes it worse for everyone.

As it happens, I'm flying across the country to SFO in a week for a minor revision to a Very Important Surgery I had last March, and returning a week after that, two days after the inauguration. I've come too far and suffered for too long to stop at 98%. I will not hide. I will not cower. That doesn't mean I won't be afraid. Sometimes we have to confront our fears.

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Char's avatar

my nonreligious self is praying hard for you, for zooey, and for everyone in our community right now

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peggysueandre's avatar

Absolutely unconditional bigotry.

Let's have a few bus loads of us gals tour Montana with a lawyer on board. Seriously.

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Jodi Coté's avatar

Great idea, peggysue! Sign me up!

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Sandra's avatar

So what about M2F people who have had SRS surgery and are therefore anatomically women, and literally can’t use a men’s restroom?

Also what about masculine-appearing cis females who might get harassed and detained as a result of these bans?

These bans are as poorly thought out and illogical as they are cruel.

I hope the MT ban gets defeated.

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

Yes. I think part of the problem is that many if not most people are enormously ignorant about transgender people because they don't know any of us. Politicians sell them on a straw man notion like "keeping men out of the ladies room" and they don't realize it's so much more disruptive to have trans men in women's bathrooms and trans women in men's bathrooms, effectively creating the uncomfortable situations the politicians tell them the bans will prevent.

I think there are of course some hateful people who might understand the implication, and don't care because they want to see us attacked. But I think it's the ignorant group that swells the support to a level where it's politically sustainable.

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Jaimie Hileman's avatar

They want to create those situations so that we'll be beaten, shot, and killed. That's the whole goal, to use bathroom bans to defacto indemnify our murderers.

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

Yes, some do. Everyone? That's not my experience.

I have talked to ignorant people who favor bathroom bans, but do not favor violence against trans people (or anyone), they just don't make the connection between the two. Some people like this I've talked to are persuadable when I show them a picture of a trans man and ask, are you comfortable with somebody who looks like this in the ladies bathroom because that's what xyz law requires.

To have any hope we need to be out, visible and educate.

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Jaimie Hileman's avatar

Markina, I agree that not all of them favor violence and genocide but it doesn't matter because if they vote GOPMAGA they're voting for people who WILL execute our eradication as part of their party's policy and they haven't been shy about it.

I'm not getting into any arguments with GOPers who say I'm wrong, that a "little oppression" won't hurt us, and that I should somehow BE GRATEFUL because Republicans just want to take my job, ban me from public places, take away my ID and birth certificate, and render me homeless, but in Syria, ISIS would throw me off a building!

It's very telling that the average Republican now uses ISIS, murderous terrorists, as the moral arbiters and bonafides of their own intent and morality.

My 81 year old mother is Republican and says she cannot stand to look at any articles saying Republicans are oppressing transgender people, banning me from sending any to her because they upset her and she doesn't believe them. She says she doesn't know any Republicans in her tiny town that want me dead, so how could anyone believe ANY Republicans ANYWHERE want me dead? Republicans are just nice people like her and don't mean any harm! Somehow she watches Fox, OAN, and Newsmax and "never sees anything negative about Trans people".

She's not alone, many Republicans believe that they mean no harm to us, "they just want women and children to be safe" and then they all vote for politicians measuring the floor plans for concentration camps and crematoria with our names on them.

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

I agree with much of what you said and I have experienced people with the disposition you described. And yes, I agree, whatever people's dispositions are, they're voting for people who want to eradicate us is what enables it to happen.

Despite that, I'm going to continue to try to share information with people where I can. Not all are willing to consider new information, but I think it's important to try to find those who are.

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Jaimie Hileman's avatar

Oh, and same here; I'm not surrendering, not even at the bitter end. I'll keep up my advocacy and education work right up until I'm shot or arrested.

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Ella's avatar

As has been said before, Sandra, The cruelty is the point*. Unfortunately it's how humans are, or at least can be. As I'm sure you know, cruelty's history is long and horrific and includes Blacks, Jews, gays, Native populations, and on a different level, women. It's our turn now. Let's hope those many people who aren't like that will find the courage to stand up and speak out in our defense; we're a small minority

* An article with that title was published in The Atlantic in 2018. Its author, Adam Serwer, wrote a book with the same title.

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

I think the cruelty is the point to some people and some politicians. But I don't think they are numerous enough to make anti-trans legislation politically viable. I think what makes it politically viable is politicians who are hateful or just indifferent and opportunistic, have figured out how create fear amongst the ignorant by using straw man notions like "keeping men out of the ladies bathroom".

Most of the ignorant have never met a trans person (that they know of). I think many would reevaluate their thinking if presented with a picture of a fully transitioned trans man and asked if they'd be comfortable with this person in the ladies bathroom and vice versa for trans women and the mens bathroom.

I don't know how to do it, but I think education of the ignorant is our only way forward, which is really hard when we are only 1% of the population. Our gay and lesbian brethren within LGBTQ turned the tide I think as a result of this but they had much greater numbers, I think 10%.

The only idea I have, other than to the degree that we all can, be out, would be some kind of bathroom sit in to protest bathroom bans. Trans men in the ladies room, trans women in the mens room and let the media shine a spot light on how ridiculous the ban looks in that context. I know nothing about organizing though.

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Nicola A's avatar

Well, now I see why they didn't bother trying to single out Zooey Zephyr. Monsters.

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Dee E Dressler's avatar

Beware ye women who have gone through menopause and are low in estrogen. You may be caught up in the net. Be prepared to expose yourself to prove your prove your worth.

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

And then get charged with indecent exposure. I agree with you, and also think that if it's a hate driven situation I think it becomes a catch-22.

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Anne & those cats…'s avatar

Restricting and oppressing cis-women who need hormones? I think repubs are fine with that. Another means of keeping females subservient and controlled—and aware of their second-class status.

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Lindsey Straus's avatar

Holy shit. As a lawyer practicing in federal court, will I have to use the men’s room at the courthouse in Boston. This shit is getting completely out of control.

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CherylW's avatar

My question is always: "Who is checking and how?" Just try to check in my pants. I dare you.

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

yes. I think a lot of this ultimately ends up being "for show". But, I worry about the trend in cities in Texas, such as Midland, that have put a bounty on us. $10,000 for reporting trans people not using the legally required bathroom (I assume the person is paid if successful conviction occurs".

My guess the police would check ID and maybe able to get out if it if your from a state where you can change your gender marker, and are just visiting Texas. But if they strongly suspect you of being trans they might arrest you anyway and then Ken Paxton tries to subpoena your original birth circulate from your home state and in some semi-blue states, birth certificates can be changed but there aren't shield laws.

I hope other red states don't use Texas as a model.

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Sean Corfield's avatar

I've known transgender people for over half my life -- I'm 62 -- and I just don't understand why these hateful politicians spend so much time and effort (and taxpayer money) attacking a tiny segment of the community who just want to live their life in peace. It's so counter-productive on every level. Leave the good people alone -- there's so much other important shit to focus on instead!

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Shayne's avatar

They focus on trans people so they don't have to address real issues like gun violence.

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Ema Tzippi's avatar

Yes!

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RRMother's avatar

Yeah, they’re REALLLLLY workin hard on fixin those high prices now aren’t they??🙄🤬 THIS is their very first priority?? These people are hateful, nasty and evil, and this mama is ready to fight here in Texas.

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Ema Tzippi's avatar

That is so good to hear. 😊

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

As we all know, these bans create disruption and uncomfortableness in bathrooms despite how the purport to prevent those things.

I think the cruelty is the point to some people and some politicians. But I don't think they are numerous enough to make anti-trans legislation politically viable. I think what makes it politically viable is politicians who are hateful or just indifferent and opportunistic, have figured out how create fear amongst the ignorant by using straw man notions like "keeping men out of the ladies bathroom".

Most of the ignorant have never met a trans person (that they know of). I think many would reevaluate their thinking if presented with a picture of a fully transitioned trans man and asked if they'd be comfortable with this person in the ladies bathroom and vice versa for trans women and the mens bathroom.

I don't know how to do it, but I think education of the ignorant is our only way forward, which is really hard when we are only 1% of the population. Our gay and lesbian brethren within LGBTQ turned the tide I think as a result of this but they had much greater numbers, I think 10%.

The only idea I have, other than to the degree that we all can, be out, would be some kind of bathroom sit in to protest bathroom bans. Trans men in the ladies room, trans women in the mens room and let the media shine a spot light on how ridiculous the ban looks in that context. I know nothing about organizing though.

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Sarah F's avatar

Perhaps the only way out of hell is through it, with greater visibility. I've been outing myself to a number of people in safe settings, telling them that because I'm trans I'm having to leave the country (usually meaning that they won't see me as a customer/client/patient anymore). I went for a mammogram today and told the nurse. Without missing a beat, she said, "I don't blame you." Only one person has reacted weirdly - an attorney of ours who seems obviously to be a Trumper got angry - not for my situation, not at Trump, but apparently because she thought I was being foolish. With great agitation, she told me a lot of things about the laws and societal attitudes of my destination country that simply weren't true - from some false sense of American exceptionalism, I suppose. OK. But she's still losing me as a client, so perhaps she can digest on that.

I've decided that my exile will be just as loud as my exit. I intend to lobby lawmakers from afar and testify virtually at committee hearings. I HATE ALL THIS, but I don't see any other path to a better future.

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

"Perhaps the only way out of hell is through it, with greater visibility."

I agree. And give you made the decision to leave, the way you are doing it sounds like a very constructive approach.

What country did you decide on for your knew home, if you are comfortable sharing?

Personally I'm taking a "wait and see" approach, but have definitely thought about leaving if need be and of course worry about waiting too long and flight became impractical for one reason or another. But those are the dice I'm rolling I guess.

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Sarah F's avatar

Europe. Beyond that, I'm not comfortable sharing at this time. After I get there, then yes, I'll share.

I think the hazard of "wait and see" is that Trump may hose our passports if we have changed our gender markers. During Trump 1.0, the State Dept. was effing with some trans people regarding passports. They kept making spurious demands of one of my friends until her application timed out. They famously revoked a couple of passports, leaving at least one person (Danni Askini) stateless in Sweden, with the uncertainty of whether she was being accused by the US of fraud. (She now has refugee status in Sweden.) My advice: Have your passport in order. If Trump and crew erase your gender, then watch carefully for State Department fuckery. If/when they start revoking passports, drive to Canada, and figure out where you will go from there.

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

Thanks for sharing! I was unaware of these incidents.

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Sarah F's avatar

It wasn't well covered. Here's an article from "Them" about it:

https://www.them.us/story/trans-women-state-department-passports

The story was eventually covered by the Advocate. That was before we had Erin Reed. ;-)

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MissNumbersNinja's avatar

Thanks! I read this article and it's chilling for sure.

Question, and I totally understand if you're not comfortable responding here -

By leaving now, aren't you risking becoming stateless like Danni Askini? I'm guessing either you have a plan to get citizenship/asylum elsewhere or you've judged the risk of being stateless as lesser than the risk of remaining here.

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Don A in Pennsultucky's avatar

Presumably all trans individuals will be required to self-identify. A scarlet 'T' would work.

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Jodi Coté's avatar

REFUSE, resist, fight! I would LOVE to be arrested under these absurdly hurtful bans! I'll call every news outlet in the Country. Film at 11!

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Alana Dee's avatar

Mega was misspelled Again by the voice thing as you can see it doesn't work and it said Naga before watch I want to I'm going to type in. Maga

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